Day 94: on keeping those appointments

We resumed Himself's "Appointment Week" ant-free and freshly showered. I talked myself out of, then back in to, washing my hair, and I'm glad I did. I get a subtle boost when I'm able to honor my basic needs, and I look ten times better with clean hair than with not-so-clean hair. I wound up doing the driving, as Himself had stayed up later than he had planned, partly because he was freaking out over the possible results of the PET scan, and partly because he had neglected to take his night-time meds. He can be a very curious creature at times...

At any rate, we both made the drive down with empty tummies, as he wasn't allowed to eat after midnight, and I wasn't going to torture him with food he couldn't eat. There was a choice parking spot that just happened to be waiting for us, so I got a chance to practice my parallel parking with the help of the car's wee camera mounted above the license plate. I situated myself within the boundaries of the disabled spot (as both Himself and the Queen Mother are Officially Disabled), so I will take that as a win. ;)

We were a little late to his appointment, but the waiting room was all but empty, and remained empty for most of Himself's session. Once he had been taken back to start the scan, I went down to the coffee shop and got a Chai Tea Latte (with soymilk - they aren't yet offering coconut milk at the VAMC) with an apple-cinnamon muffin. I ate the muffin, then went back up and made myself at home in the waiting room, where I chose my next mandala to color in and went to work. I realized that I had forgotten to pack one of the small pencil sharpeners in my pencil box, so a few small places of coloring needed to wait until I could get home and give my pencils sharper points.

About two hours later, Himself emerged from his procedure, and we went down to the main cafeteria to see what they had for lunch. I got a veggie hummus wrap (which wasn't bad, it just had a LOT of hummus in it) and a bag of chips, while Himself grabbed a turkey sandwich to go with his chips. We split a chocolate pudding parfait for dessert. One thing I can say about the VA's cafe, the food is rather cheap, and you often get what you pay for. Sometimes that's a good thing; other times, not so much. Today it was decent.

I saved about a third of the wrap for later, and we headed to the second appointment of the day: a follow up with General Surgery, the department that had performed Himself's first surgery: the removal of his colon and appendix, the latter having become the size of a cucumber. (Apparently the cancer had jumped first thing into his appendix, instead of spreading more widely through his body, which is probably one of the reasons he's still alive today.) I colored a bit more of my mandala as we waited, and also as he was examined.

They didn't find anything untoward, so we made a final stop at the coffee shop (for his strategic caffeine infusion), and wrangled our way around some road construction to make our way home. See, the VA Medical Center is on the University of Califonia, San Diego campus, and the trolley is being extended from San Diego up to UCSD, the VAMC, and La Jolla. This necessitates detours from time to time, which snarls up traffic, which was compounded today by students returning from Winter Break.

We got home a bit late, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been, for the Queen Mother said she was not feeling well, and had not felt well all day. Instead of her regular dinner, I heated up some chicken broth for her to drink. She did later perk up enough to ask for her usual chocolate ice cream, though. Himself went down to San Diego for a meeting, and I stayed home to keep an eye on mom. I later grabbed a package of mock chicken "morsels," heated them up in the oven, and had them with some rice, along with the rest of my lunch. After dinner, I sharpened several of my pencils and colored in the smaller spaces that needed sharp points. Here's what my mandala looked like when I finished for today:

I expect to color in some more when we return to the VAMC on Wednesday for the next round of appointments.

Tomorrow is appointment-free, so I'm declaring it an "Administration Day" to use for phone calls and to go through the various letters and papers that have been quietly waiting for me to tend to them. I will need to do a bit of grocery shopping as well, but that won't take all day, and will probably serve as a nice change of pace.

Thus do we move forward into the new year... :)

Day 93: on having a slightly off day

I thought I had licked the ant problem last night. I was wrong. They were invading Himself's coffee maker today, and I found that they had invaded the electric part of my electric teakettle, meaning I wouldn't be able to get them out without flushing them out, which would ruin the kettle entirely. I had to toss the teakettle and go on a spraying and wiping rampage in the kitchen. I still don't know if Himself's coffee maker will be salvageable yet. Although I have removed ALL possible crumbs they might try to get their little antennae on, I can't tell where they're coming in, except that they seem to be behind the cupboards, or way in the back of them at the very least. :p

I wound up filling up one of my small pots and using it as an ersatz kettle to boil water in, both for my tea and for my oatmeal. Between losing my trusty electric kettle, rampaging all over the kitchen, and chatting online with a friend who is going through challenges halfway around the world, I didn't get a good start to the day, and I was a bit out of sorts the entire day. I also acknowledge 1) It's been something of a high-vibe week, that culminated in yesterday's birthday party, and 2) I haven't gotten as much sleep as I would have liked for the past few nights. So I've been a little tired all day. Let me just take a moment to accept that...

I did manage to get myself some tea and breakfast before tidying up the dining room table and taking out the trash. I read the parts of the Sunday paper I wanted to over dinner.

I also did a bit of an experiment: I have participated in a friend's "plan out your year" program for about four or five years, and have saved bits of the old books along the way. One of the activities in the program is to write a list of "100 things to do" during the year. I went through some of the old lists that I had to see what had been done in the time since I first filled out the lists, what could not be done anymore, and what I had yet to do. In gathering the yet-to-be-done things together, I found many of them were creative, arty projects that I had once intended to do, but inadvertently left behind (once I met my husband, and/or once everything began to go haywire). I found myself wondering if any of those forgotten projects could be brought forth and realized, so that's percolating in the back of my head. I came up with 63 things total, which would be a good foundation for a 2019 version of the list! I plan to return to the list later in the week.

It feels like I will be turning in once the Queen Mother is safely in bed, which is a good thing, as tomorrow is Himself's PET scan, and I will need to drive him home. I will be taking my mandala coloring book with me and starting a new mandala. If I'm fortunate, I'll be able to wash my hair before we need to hit the road.

Day 92: on ringing in the new

Himself and I have just returned from a friend's birthday party. It was lovely seeing folks we knew, and making friends with folks we didn't know. After we got home, though, I found that some ants had snuck into the house, and were crawling all over my teakettle, and were setting up to crawl all over Himself's coffee maker! So I had to tend to them quickly before coming in and blogging.

I had arranged to Skype with a friend earlier today, and then I was going to do some online work. It turned out I did the online work before talking with my friend, and I may have finally found a solution to the Queen Mother's ongoing Med-Cal challenge, with a potential bonus to boot! I need to make a phone call or two to check things out, but I'm feeling hopeful for the first time in a long while.

I got the dishes in the dishwasher and started it up before we left for the party. Our friend's house turned out to be closer than I had thought, which was a good thing. It was starting to rain when we left for the party, and was coming down at a pretty good clip when we returned home.

One of my intentions this year is to be More Sociable. I have been isolated, more or less, for a few years now, so to see and to be seen, and to have conversations with other reasonably functional adults, is like water to a very thirsty plant. My roots are drinking up all of the water and beginning to bring vital moisture to wilted leaves. I rejuvenate, gratefully.

Tomorrow will be a quieter day, perfect to do some more in-depth planning. Tonight, ants notwithstanding, I am content.

Day 91: on ringing out the old

First, what happened today: Himself kicked off "Appointment Week" with a follow up appointment with the dietician. They discussed where he had made progress and where he still needed to do some work. He will follow up again in three months. We also straighened out a wee snag with his blood pressure medication (a version of which had been recalled recently). We got home a bit late, but everyone managed to have dinner before it was time for our weekly meetings.

Once home, I set to work finishing my Year in Review process, which turned out to be a YearS in Review, as the Dumpster Fire that was 2018 for me had its roots in earlier years. I saw how this process actually started back in 2014, and devoted a few days to write it all out, one day per year, and then a day to synthesize it all. I saw how I was still trying to recover from work stress (in 2014) and a miscarriage (in 2015) when Himself was diagnosed with colon cancer (in 2016) and then the Queen Mother had her blood clot adventure (in 2017). Looking at everything that way, of course 2018 was going to be a Dumpster Fire!

Several pieces of paper have been ripped to shreds and placed in a small brown paper bag, along with a couple of sage stems, ready to be burned. We are going to a friend's party tomorrow and she says she will have a fire for burning things, weather permitting! (I have a Plan B ready to go just in case.) 

As of tomorrow, I will be ready to move forward into the new year...

Day 90: on clearing more space

Quick post, since I have some laundry to put away and the Queen Mother to help into  bed in a bit...

Got some more laundry done today, this time a load of clothes. I was planning on doing the dishes today, but did a round of recycling instead. Our condo complex has shared trash and recycling bins, both of which were full to overflowing with the detrius of the holidays. It also didn't help that pick-up was delayed a day due to New Year's. I found an empty bin and took full advantage of it. I also rearranged our "cans" and "bottles" bins in our patio to a more advantageous location.

I had an early dinner today because I wanted to attend the first Caregiver Support Group tonight, which I did. It was a small group, with some good sharing, and it felt nice to check in and share my experiences. I went with Himself to his meeting afterward, and had a late supper when we came home.

I didn't get everything accomplished on my list today, but that's okay. I have plenty of time and no need to be rushed - quite a change in perspective from last year! With that, I'll post this entry and go organize shirts and pants and other things.

Day 89: on moving into a new day

Since I stayed inside yesterday, I chose to turn the focus outside today. We had groceries we needed to get, a car payment to make, and money to get things done. The errands unfolded one after the other without a hitch, and we got home in plenty of time before we needed to fix mom dinner.

Before we launched into the grocery shopping, Himself and I treated ourselves to a nice brunch at a local diner that has reasonable prices. It was a nice little treat for ourselves to start off the new year. I had something I don't usually eat: a breakfast burrito, vegetarian style, so it had no bacon or sausage in it. I got a fruit cup to go with it and gave Himself the cantaloupe pieces and I had the rest of the fruit. (Fun fact: I don't like cantaloupe. It has a gnarly aftertaste that I've never gotten used to.) The brunch was so filling, that I wound up having a later dinner than usual, tucking in to my "mock chili" I described a few days ago.

I also started a second small experiment: while out shopping at Trader Joe's, and waiting for Himself to join me in the store, I took a pic of one of the pretty flower bouquets they sell there and posted it on Messenger, with a Daily Story hashtag. I want to post a pic (or two) and/or a video on my Messenger Stories every day for the next year. I don't guarantee that I will make it every day, and some of the pics will be totally random, but I'm feeling ready to reach out a little more on social media again, after being off of it for over a year (July 2017 - August 2018) and keeping a low profile since I returned.

Tonight is forecast to be a chilly night, with temperatures at or slightly below (!) freezing. Fortunately the cats are in, the central heater is working, and I have on socks. We are going to be quite cozy tonight. :)

Day 88: on starting somewhere

It turns out a good night's sleep did wonders for everyone's dispositions. The unpleasantness of the night before was left in the past, by unspoken mutual agreement. Himself and I also decided to tackle some of the "problem areas" the Queen Mother has been grousing about.

Mom can't use the shower in her bathroom, because it's one of those tub/shower combos, and the bathtub ledge is too high for her to step over safely. She comes and uses the shower in our bathroom, because it's a dedicated shower, and has a very low lip she can step over much more easily. It was beginning to show the effects of much use, shall we say, so Himself devoted his efforts to cleaning the shower. None of us use the bath/shower combo in the other bathroom, because 1) that shower head is broken, and 2) neither Himself nor I can fit into the shallow bathtub. Queen Mother could, but she would never be able to get up out of it again without a lot of help.

My task for today was to tackle the mountain of paperwork we had accumulated since 2016, when the Caregiver role began to take over my life, and anything that wasn't a high priority was swept aside. My first step was to sort all of the papers into three piles: mine, his, and mom's. Needless to say, mom's pile is the smallest, and it's a toss up between Himself and myself as to which of us has the longer paper trail! The next step is to sort each of our piles into three smaller piles: stuff to be recycled now, stuff to be held back for shredding, and stuff that's actually important enough to keep. I suspect the third pile will be the smallest, at least for me!

While all of this was going on, I also dove into the linen hamper and grabbed all of the towels and dishcloths for a long overdue washing. Drying is still in progress, as our dryer is no longer the most efficient appliance in the home, and the lint filter seems to fill up every five seconds!

I could have felt sorry for myself today, but I chose to take a step into the chaos and began to wrest some much needed Order out of it. This is one of my goals for 2019, and the first for the home.