Friday, March 27, 2020

life in the time of corona (virus)

A tip of the hat to Gabriel Garcia Marquez, who wrote Love in the Time of Cholera and provided the inspiration for the title...

In truth, the overall structure of my life hasn't really changed that much, to be honest. I left my job four years ago after Himself's initial cancer diagnosis, because trying to help him, keep an eye on the Queen Mother, and hold down a full time job to boot felt like too much. I have been practicing Staying Home pretty much the whole time.

I will say the timing of the Queen Mother getting back on "deluxe" Medi-Cal could not have been better. (I received my first paycheck today. I found that I need to restart direct deposit into my account, since I didn't realized the check had been mailed to me until I called to see where it was!) She was re-evaluated by In Home Supportive Services just before all hell broke loose, and will actually be getting more hours as of April First. In this way, I am very blessed. Once I get a few bills taken care of, I will see about paying some of my blessings forward.

The fact that casual trips out of the home are all but verboten is a bit of a challenge. Fortunately we live in a gated condo complex, so our exposure to the "outside world" is at a minimum. I joke that we were practicing Social Distancing before it came into vogue. I'm able to step out and take a lap around the complex when I feel like getting some fresh air and sunshine. I'm not the only one who does, as the hour right before dinner recently looked like "social hour," with family units keeping to themselves as they walked. I can adjust my timing accordingly, depending on whether or not I feel like talking to anyone.

The biggest adjustment I've had to make is to runs to the grocery store. I am working on consolidating runs to only once a week, and making do if I run short on something before the "official" day. I'm also rotating the stores I go to, to minimize my exposure at any one location. I wear gloves when I go get the groceries, as the Queen Mother will be 78 on Sunday, and Himself is still somewhat immuno-compromised due to his cancer adventures. So far, though, so good. I've been lucky to get what we've most needed more often than not. Once I had to improvise with cereal, as the options were sparse; another time I've had to wait on getting rice because the rice we normally get was right out. Still, I've managed to keep everyone's belly full.

I have felt challenged with doing anything around the house, or looking at mail, or scheduling tasks...unless it has to do with writing. I have found myself writing consistently more often than not; in fact, I am almost done getting the novel I started with onto the computer. I've done some revising as I've gone along, with notes on further revisions once I review this particular draft. I also have the next few projects lined up to continue writing. Now if only I could channel this ambition into some of the other areas of my life! Perhaps it will come in time.

Most of the time, I feel rather decent. I do have spells of anxiety, but I find myself cycling through them instead of getting stuck within them. I remind myself now and again that I am emerging from a gnarly bout of depression that visited on and off for two and a half years, which followed Himself's cancer adventures, which followed a miscarriage, which followed a high-stress work situation! So there is absolutely no rush, nor reason to rush, getting into deep cleaning the house or aligning with the world as it is now. All things in the fullness of time.

So this is my snapshot of how life is behind the looking glass. I will update as things continue to unfold.

Monday, March 23, 2020

a frenemy called "desmoid"

Before I address the current state of affairs, I wanted to update everyone with Himself's test results...

Best news: it's NOT malignant cancer. It's benign. He is still technically In Remission! We both heaved huge sighs of relief at that news.

What it is: a Desmoid Tumor. It is associated with his specific genetic condition, which gave him a gazillion polyps in his GI system. They don't metastasize per se, but they can grow and become obnoxious if they come to block any key bodily processes.

At the moment, Himself only has the one desmoid in his mesentary, which means it can move/be moved about. We will see if the CBD oil has any effect upon it, now that we can afford to get CBD oil again in timely fashion. Everyone agreed just to keep an eye upon it for now, and do surgery to remove it only if it becomes obnoxious. This is because they tend to grow back; how likely they are to return depends upon who you ask.

Glad that we don't have to worry about that in our current situation. More about that to come in the next post. Stay tuned!

Friday, March 13, 2020

hello from bizarro-land

With visions of Coronavirus skewing the worldview, it seems appropriate to pop in with an update. I did not intend for February to slide completely down the rabbit hole, but it did, and now we have ended up behind the looking-glass. So without further ado, let me bring y'all up to speed...

Regarding Himself: the Mystery Spot turned out to be a lymph node gone rogue. It might, or might not, be related to the genetic condition that gave him a gazillion polyps in his GI tract. He had the biopsy last week, and we have an appointment at the VA this coming Monday to discuss results and next moves. Said appointment might be changed to a phone consult; we shall see.

In addition, his personal injury case (from the car accident in July 2018!) FINALLY settled. All accounting has been squared away, and we received enough to pay the property taxes (done), get new eyeglasses for Himself and Myself (next week), and to buy a new set of tires for the car (in about 2-3 months). Still waiting to see what happens in DC, but the squaring away of this has brought some profound relief.

Regarding the Queen Mother: she has continued to decline, then plateau, with her mental processes slipping a few more gears along the way. I am now documenting when she has her Episodes, and I find that she slips a little more each time. Since we found the cause - her incredible shrinking brain - I am finding that Patience is easier to come by.

Now for the bonus round...there is something called the Pickle Amendment (I kid you not, that's really what it's called) that has apparently opened the door for mom to be back on the Deluxe version of Medi-Cal! In true Mercury Retrograde/Bureaucratic fashion, I received the notifications from Social Security and Health & Human Services before I received the notice from the County office of this miracle. Earlier this week, she was re-evaluated for In-Home Suppportive Services, and I confirmed that I'm still an active Provider on her roster, so guess who is submitting a timesheet on Monday to be PAID to take care of mom! She is also getting more hours per month starting in April, and she is good to go for at least the rest of this year.

Regarding Moi: Besides all of the above good financial news which has really brought a considerable peace of mind, I have gotten back into Writing again, with my first love (Science-Fiction) and the first novel I ever wrote, which has undergone two or three major revisions and will doubtless undergo two or three more before I am satisfied. An unofficial inventory revealed two complete full-length novels, two in-progress full-length novels, a handful of intermediate-length works, a dozen short stories, and several notebooks/notepads full of ideas and snippets.

I was bound and determined to be an Author and Writer in the 90's. The closest I got to actual publication was receiving a personalized rejection letter. I jumped headlong into Metaphysics with the new millennium, but have usually had pen and paper handy to jot something down in the interim. Going back to my original manuscripts has "Sparked Joy" in my spirit, and I have a motivation to get me through the days that I didn't have previously, or even recently. With the advent of Self-Publication, I have the advantage today of not needing to submit to magazines or publishing houses before seeing my work in print out in the world. I won't however, put out garbage stories just so I can see my name in lights. This will be high-quality stuff, if Science-Fiction is your cup of tea. (If anyone is interested in seeing excerpts, holler back. I have come to appreciate the wisdom of a second set of eyes seeing what I might miss.)

So yes, I am alive and feeling better than I have for quite a while - just in time to combat apocalyptic cooties! I will definitely try to post here more often, and might even do a bit of vlogging as well, provided I can figure out the technical aspects. If not, there's always Instagram, though I'm going to be stepping back from that for a few days while people lose their minds. Huh boy...