after fasting and feasting

Indeed it is Thursday and not Wednesday, but yesterday was another long day, and I was ready for bed by the time all was said and done.

Yesterday was Yom Kippur, often considered the most important Jewish holy day of the year. It is the Day of Atonement, of fasting from sundown the day before to sundown the day of. Himself and I fasted most of the time, breaking the fast only midday to have a croissant and some tea from Starbucks. With his cancer adventures, it's not medically advisable for him to fast the entire day, and his digestive system is thrown off kilter if he doesn't eat a lot, which can lead to other messy and nasty issues. So he did eat a small bit, but adhered to the fasting overall. I also snacked on a few baby carrots before we returned to the synagogue.

It's true that I didn't need to fast with him. We are an "Interfaith" family officially, as Himself is Jewish and I am Pagan, which leads to some interesting conversations. However, I also believe that occasional fasting is a good way to reset the body and the spirit (prayer work optional), and I'm not going to be completely rude and eat in front of him when he can't eat at all. I wasn't in significant discomfort, thanks to my little "cheats," and I didn't get terribly bent out of shape as happens occasionally when I get Hangry. Part of it, I bet, is in the Expectation: when I am expecting to eat, vs. when I am fasting and not expecting to eat, at least not before sundown.

Back to yesterday: after sundown, there were "appetizers" of juice, challah bread, and apples with honey to dip them in, which were consumed most enthusiastically. Then we caravanned up to the home of one of the congregants for the Breaking of the Fast, where we did indeed break the fast with a potluck feast. After attending a few of these potlucks, I have decided I am going to start bringing salads, as there has been a marked deficit of veggies!

Everything, of course, was very tasty, with the exception of some macaroni and cheese that was very cold and off-putting. There was good conversation to be had during and after the feasting, with Himself doing most of the talking. It's not that I'm a bad conversationalist at all. He is quite happy to talk about his naval adventures, his cancer adventures, and all of his adventures, and I'm happy to let him have the spotlight in these situations. When all was said and done, we wound up bringing home more food than we had taken, some of which has been eaten today. I gathered together a few of our own leftovers and combined them with a can of beans to have with my salad for dinner tonight. 

I slept long and well last night into today. This day has been very slow and quiet, as I am re-entering the Moon Lodge and am waiting for the trickle to become a flood. The days immediately before, and the first days of, my Moonflow, I become super introverted and not at all willing to do more than the bare minimum of interaction. The fact that I'm doing this blog tonight is a minor miracle. Whatever else my life looks like, I am super blessed to be able to ease back on the throttle and REST, and be very quiet, for a few days out of every month.

Inkblot is dozing on the bed beside me as I type, and Pippa has claimed the top of the dresser for the moment. The top of the dresser is Prime Territory for both of them. Sometimes they're good at sharing, other times they're not. Today has been a good sharing day so far.

I think that will do it for now. Until next time...

Day 359: on starting a new year (#1)

Before our alarm went off this morning, my "fuzzy alarm" came and woke me up. Inkblot is very good at waking me up to ask for First Breakfast for himself and his sister. Often he will even wait until after sunrise. So I got up and fed the cats, and hopped into the shower. Himself went through his own morning routine when I got out of the shower. As I was going out to get the Queen Mother's breakfast items together, I had the "pleasure" of stepping in fresh cat puke. How lovely. I cleaned that up before getting to the matter of breakfast.

We got out of the house and breakfast in our bellies in decent time, and avoided much of the Morning Commute traffic by using Google Maps to figure out when to take surface streets vs when to use the highway. We actually made it to the synagogue with a few minutes to spare, which was a good thing, as we needed to pass through security and get our "assignment" for the services. Himself and I "opened the Ark" for a key portion of the service, which allowed everyone to gaze upon the two large scrolls that comprise the Torah, aka the first five "books" of the Old Testament, as they sang and/or recited the prayers of that portion.

The Rosh Hashanah services ended about 1pm, so we headed home to check upon the Queen Mother, feed the cats, and (as it turns out) pay a few bills. By the time all was said and done, it was far past time to try and make it to the congregation's Tashlich ceremony, so Himself and I will be doing our own version of Tashlich tomorrow, and I will explain what that is to my fellow gentiles (non-Jews) at that time. We both agreed to go home, nap, then consider our dinner options after I put the Queen Mother's dinner together.

Roughly two blocks from where we live, in the same strip mall that our now-favorite laundromat is located, there is a new Mexican restaurant that took the place of another Mexican restaurant that we frequented now and again. We chose to try them out, and so far, the experience has been very underwhelming, to be honest. I ordered a veggie enchiladas plate, expecting enchilaldas with actual vegetables in them. We were then told that they had run out of vegetables for the day in the kitchen. Yes, I can eat cheese enchiladas, and I did, and they were decent, but it wasn't what I had ordered, and I felt like I really needed some vegetables.

One of the new owners happened to be present, and when he came over to our table, I let him know exactly what had happened and how I felt about it - nicely, because I am a Libra after all. He gave me a card to present on our next visit for a free plate of veggie enchiladas and a free dessert as well, so that was a pleasant outcome. We will try them again, but we'll definitely check to make sure they actually have the necessary veggies first!

I will most likely be heading to bed after I help the Queen Mother into bed for the evening. Himself has an appointment tomorrow, but it's not till late morning, so I will have an opportunity to sleep in...provided my fuzzy alarm clock can behave himself. ;)

Day 312: on stepping it up

I got myself going and got the laundry in the washer just in time for Himself and I to drive down to Jewish Family Service in San Diego. Today was a 2-for-1, as I told the receptionist: not only were we going to visit the food pantry, but I was also going to speak with the coordinator for their Alzheimer's Disease Initiative. As far as we know, the Queen Mother does not have Alzheimer's, but their doors are open for other species of dementia as well, and she definitely qualifies there.

My goal was to get a fresh set of eyes to look at everything I had done, and had not been able to do, at this point. The Coordinator was very friendly and enthusiastic, and by the time we were finished with our brainstorming, I was satisfied in what I had been able to do thus far, and I also had a decent game plan for the next steps.

Then it was a visit to the Pantry, which was a bit picked over by the time we got there, but I was still able to find some treasures, and Himself got some chocolate macaroons for me. Though he can't eat them anymore, I still can. We will be scheduling our final run for the year (if not permanently) for November. 

Even with a bit of traffic to contend with, and even with a stop to pick up a few necessities at Trader Joe's, we got home right around 4pm today. The only problem was that Himself was going to have to do a quick turnaround if he wanted to get to his scheduled Club Board meeting at 6pm. We ran out of time to make an official run to the laundromat to dry the clothes, so I went old school and hung everything up. The amazing part is that everything is almost dry, so we should be okay come the morning. 

Tomorrow the appointments become medical in nature, with Himself going first. There is a decent gap between his appointments, so we'll see about filling that gap. :)  

Day 296: on stoking the fires of Hope

Today I attended a free call from my friend Leonie about Ten Habits of Abundance. It was a good checklist to help get me back on track. It was also good to recognize some familiar names joining me on the group call. I won't be buying her e-course, as it's basically pay for that or pay our electric bill, and the electric bill is going to win. However, it was a good Energy Infusion that I sorely needed.

I was inspired to take a moment to review some of the Shadow Work I had previously done. Some of the messages I have been getting: Persevere. Trust. Believe it to See it. Reconnect to your Mystic Self. I have seen my obstacles not vanish, but change form and become easier to work with and through. I have also seen how Caregiving might appear to be the "Be All-End All" in my life, but it's only ONE aspect of my life. (Thank you Andrea!)

Something shifted due to my partaking of the energy, for we received a small money miracle this evening. This just might be what we need to carry us through the next few days until we receive the next automatic deposits on August First, or thereabout. Tonight I am grateful and thinking there just might be something to these Messages I've been receiving... ;)

Day 294: on ending with hope

Before my official Tea and Morning Pages time, I got a call back from the folks who are already helping us, Jewish Family Services, this time from the woman who helps with Alzheimer's - and other dementia - patients and their families. We had a good conversation and did a bit of brainstorming over the phone. I have an appointment to see her next month, and some "homework" to do in the meantime. Though nothing she suggested might actually play out, speaking with her this morning gave me an infusion of Hope. I updated my to-do lists and actually have some action steps to take next week.

The rest of the day was fairly calm...a quick grocery run to fortify us through the weekend, Himself departing for San Diego, making dinner for the Queen Mother, then myself. I napped briefly afterwards, and have kept it low-key this evening.

Himself is not doing well with the heat, and this is the second time he has put off a Cardiac session until later due to his sinus headache. He has to be careful, lest it bloom into a migrane. I'm considering a trip to SDG&E, or a phone call at the very least, to see if his cardiac issues (for which he needs to run the air conditioning more) might qualify us for a further discount. I'm already dreading the electric bill for this month.

We might work out tomorrow, we might not. It will depend on how Himself feels.

Day 257: on mixing and (minor) miracles

We started the day early with a run to our local recycling center to turn in Himself's fizzy flavored water bottles. I gave the cashier three pennies so she could give me eleven dollars; not bad for a full bin and two bags! This provided some much needed cash for later grocery shopping.

From there, we went down to the VA Medical Center to participate in their Cancer Survivor Mixer, complete with information tables, a snack bar, and some nice swag for the veterans. Since I journal a lot, I'm always on the lookout for pens, and I like the ones that have a rubber grip to them, as I tend to grip my pens quite firmly. I scored a couple of them today.

Himself had an opportunity to say hello to some of the doctors, nurses, and techs who we had met at the start of his cancer experience, but the most opportune meeting with with the Social Worker. She gave us a list of resources to look through (including some key Financial ones) and advised Himself to be re-evaluated for Aid and Attendance - a monthly stipend for Veterans to hire someone to help care for them. In this case, I would be the Paid Caregiver. We have some new leads to research! :)

Once the mixer was over, we went to his eye appointment. We were there at least an hour before we were actually seen, as the joint was apparently jumping quite a bit. He did not want to get his pupils dilated, as he was complaining of a bit of sinus pressure behind his eyes, and he was concerned that if he went through with the dilation, the extra light would trigger a migraine. So we scheduled a follow-up appointment in September. A relatively quick trip to the Pharmacy followed, to collect some new moisturizing eye drops, as Himself's eyes were diagnosed as "very dry" (using the scientific term) ;)

As it became apparent that he would not have time to work out at the Cardiac Treatment Center today, since it was after three when we were finally done, and we had to consider traffic, we chose to go home instead. We made a couple of stops en route, at Target (for the Queen Mother's hot dogs) and Trader Joe's (for other necessities). I chose to use food we had been saving at home over buying more at TJ's, so the actual total was a wee bit less than I had calculated. Yay me.

Everyone was rather hungry by the time we got home, so the getting of the cat food was postponed till after dinner, which was okay. I was not able to find all of the flavors they liked, which would have ordinarily bummed me out, but today was actually a good thing, for again, I spent less money than expected. Yay me.

Tomorrow Himself has an appointment with the Cardiac Center's dietician, to see if he can get advice on what to eat as a semicolon, aka someone who had a great deal of his colon removed due to cancer. There is also a Caregiver Support Group  in the evening, and damn skippy I will be attending!

It occurred to me earlier this evening: slowly but surely, I am working my way out of the rut once more and inching my way forward. Things are ever so slightly lighter than they were even at the start of the month. To quote a bit of literature that I read on the daily: "Slowly, new persons emerge. Change is Taking Place."

Day 239: on attending to pleasurable business

Today was an Out and About day, taking full advantage of the nicer weather we are having.

First, we returned to the synagogue for the semi-annual congregational meeting. It's not a big congregation, but it's an enthusiatic one. Fortunately, Himself sat on his hands today and didn't take on any more commitments! We soaked in a little Community Time schmoozing before and after the meeting.

On the way home, we stopped in at one of the stores of our cable company. We thought we would be in for a bit of a wait, as it was plenty busy, until I saw the little "Pay here" machines at the other end of the store, being completely ignored. With a little help from a friendly customer service representative, we paid the cable bill and went our merry way.

I had a snack and got dinner assembled for the Queen Mother, then Himself and I headed down to San Diego for his regular Saturday night meeting. We got there a bit early since he is the Coffeemaker, one of the two Very Important Positions, the other being Secretary. He celebrated a milestone this evening with another Community.

Post-meeting, we went out to dinner with some of our friends, both to continue Himself's celebration, and also to celebrate our 7th Meet-iversary. Himself and I first met seven years ago tomorrow, but since we're keeping an eye on the cashola, we chose to consolidate reasons to celebrate, and had one special dinner tonight. If I remember tomorrow, I will share the story of how we met. :)

We came home with full bellies and happy hearts. Tomorrow he tends to business outside the home, and I tend to business inside the home.  

Day 238: on a strong finish to the week

I'm feeling pretty good about how this day went. 

I faxed the fumigation paperwork over to the pest control folks, and finally got the ball rolling on seeing whether I could get a letter from the Queen Mother's doctor's office to say she was disabled before she started receiving her Social Security. Whether or not they can is another matter entirely, as the office manager said she would have to do "a little research." Wait, you mean you might have records about my mother that you didn't send to me when I requested them?? (note to self: look over what I received from the Queen Mother's doctor One More Time!)

In between the administrative items, I tackled the kitchen and significantly improved its state. I also cleared out a lot of trash and recycling, so the chaos has been repelled for now. All of the work got me my thirty minutes of exercise for the day.  :)

This evening Himself and I paid a visit to the synagogue. It's a bit of a challenge, balancing our firm commitments vs. our desired activities, and what can be exchanged for what else. The service was small, but very heartfelt and fulfilling. The schmoozing afterward was a bit more political than I generally like, but Himself was right at home: he has an opinion and is not afraid to share it! We came home a bit latr than expected, but that's okay. Our agenda for tomorrow is pretty open.

I wind down with the intention to Unplug for the weekend, as usual, so there will be a couple of shorter posts...or I might write something in depth on Sunday evening. I will see what I feel like come then. 

Day 207: on a calm tuesday

The skies were actually just as cloudy today, and it rained a little in the morning. I did, however, sort through the mail that had arrived over the past few days (something I am getting better at), get a bill paid to get us back to current status, help the Queen Mother with her weekly-ish shower, and get the dishes re-sorted and washed in the dishwasher.

There are a few differences between the old dishwasher and the new: more room up top, a little less room down below, with a bigger rack for the silverware. I had to get a bit creative with dish arranging, and will probably have to wash dishes a bit more often, though that's not a bad thing at all.

I also got back on track with my walking and my intermittent fasting today. I am finding that it's becoming easier for me to pick up where I left off, rather than quit entirely and blame myself for not being "consistent" enough in my practices. Perhaps this daily blogging practice is starting to pay off.

I am also receiving another Infusion of Grace: I am Accepting Life, Taking Action, and Not Sweating the Small Stuff (near as much). I'm not entirely sure what the exact dynamic behind this is, but I'm not sneezing on it either!

Laundry day tomorrow, along with some good Moodling. Looking forward to seeing what loose ends I can tie off.

Day 196: on wrapping up the week

I was happy to get in my Tea and Morning Pages ritual before turning my attention to the Queen Mother and getting her over to her appointment. I gave her a ten minute warning before the half hour I had allotted to get us over there, and it still wasn't quite enough. Looks like I will have to block out more time next time. :p

Anyway, we got over to the doctor's office and had a short wait before she was called back. Her quarterly weigh-in shows she had gained two whole pounds! A big concern with us is her weight; we want to make sure she's gaining or holding steady, and not dropping any. I jokingly attibuted it to the birthday donuts she'd had when we were conversing with her doctor. After discussion and a brief exam, she was proclaimed "good to go" for another three months. We just need to stop by the Lab next month for her annual (fasting) bloodwork. I called Himself on the phone and we met in the parking lot.

Once the Queen Mother was safely back home, I cooked Himself and myself some gnocchi, as we were going to a First Night Seder with the congregation we're a part of, and I suspected it might be a bit before we would eat again. We got to the Carlsbad Senior Center (where the seder is held every year) a bit early to help with putting everything together, and we also stayed a little later to help take everything apart. I was going to take a picture or two at the start, but my phone died just as I brought up my camera. Himself took plenty of pictures, though.

He was feeling a bit tired after the Seder, so I drove us home after a quick stop at a Starbucks, and I happened to drive through my first ever DUI checkpoint on the way to the 78. I can't imbibe any level of alcohol without winding up projectile vomiting, a fact I mentioned to the nice officer, who chuckled in sympathy. It was an uneventful trip home after that.

Once I got home, though, I had to clean up after one of our Efficient Hunters, namely Inkblot. The Queen Mother pointed out the ex-bird by the computer station, and I may or may not have gone a bit green around the gills in bagging the body for the trash. I suspect it was the same bird I had chased around the house a few days before.

I am happy to have arrived at the end of this busy week. It was a good week, but it was still a long week. Tomorrow feels like a good day to switch off all of my devices; so tomorrow evening will probably feature a short, late post. I feel like I need a bit of a mental holiday.

Take good care of yourselves this weekend, too. :) 

Day 140: on wading through the Heavies

I didn't get a good night's sleep last night, and woke up out of sorts. I knew the best place to take my turbulent thoughts was to my Morning Pages, and I made the full three page entry today, objectively dissecting my thought processes and seeing exactly what was going on in my Stinking Thinking.

90% of that which drags me down, whatever form it takes, stems from the feeling of being Super Tired all of the time. I know I'm not Physically Tired; it's more Mentally and especially Emotionally Tired. My biggest fantasy right now is to take an entire week away from Caregiving and all of the Heaviness that surrounds it. Room service wouldn't be necessary, and a spa day or two would be nice! As you can tell, this would involve some money for this fantasy to become reality.

In the meantime, I put the decluttering and reorganizing aside for today, and stepped out into the clear and cold day to accompany Himself to his Cognitive Behavior Therapy appointment to see if it could help him with his pain. I go along with him to remember what he might forget, at least in theory. Getting back home took forever, as there were several accidents on the 78 going east, and we had to detour onto surface streets, and their traffic lights. Le Sigh...

We did get home, and we did eat, and I did rouse myself up to venture back out into the clear and colder night to attend Erev Shabbat services at our synagogue. Even though I don't actively pray with the congregation, I do enjoy mingling with other reasonably functional adults, and we are greeted warmly every time we show up. Socializing is one of my lifelines that I'm making an effort to attend to this year. I came home feeling better than I did when I left, which is always a good thing.

Perhaps I shall shelve all ideas of doing constructive work this weekend and focus on Recharging my Batteries. Hopefully I'll sleep better tonight. Regardless, I am still climbing that mountain.

Day 118: on a damp adventure day

It was another one of those mornings where, after I took care of the cats, I chose to stay up instead of going back to bed, as the alarm was going to go off in the next half-hour. So I started the water for my tea and enjoyed the Quiet, before the alarm went off and Himself got up. We needed to made it an early start to the day, because there was a bit of an adventure to be had.

We went down to La Jolla to a shopping mall that was a curious indoor/outdoor hybrid, one that we had visited many times, but had never explored in depth. Our destination was a door hidden between the large movie multiplex and a yoga studio, subtly marked as the "Community Room." Today, a group of men and women gathered as the Society of Addiction Professionals, which makes up the amusing acronym of SOAP. For both of us, this was a scouting mission, to see if we could add a couple of key pieces to the Recovery puzzle these folks are putting together. 

There were a pair of speakers today, sharing their experiences with their peers. I paid dutiful attention and made a couple of mental notes. When everyone was done, to my pleasant surprise, there was a spread of food that had appeared behind the rows of chairs, so folks were free to nosh and schmooze (eat and network) if they so chose. Of course, it was this part of the day that proved to be the most fruitful, as our presence was warmly welcomed. The food was good, but not quite enough, so Himself and I found our way up and out and adjourned to the Starbucks on the upper level. "Payday" had come for both of us, so we were able to enjoy some hot beverages, and I got a tomato & mozzarella panini which hit the spot. I enjoyed it in house as I watched the skies get darker and darker...

Our plan had been to get home before the rain began, but we didn't make it, as the skies opened up in earnest as we got on the freeway to go north. There was a sound and light show to accompany the rain; true to the forecast, this was a thunderstorm passing through. At one point, Himself made a pit stop while I stayed in the car and listened to the thunder and the rain. Marvelous, except that I had on the wrong shoes. Open-toed shoes are not the best to splash around in.

Before we got home, bills were paid, the gas tank was refilled, and Trader Joe's was visited. Once home, Himself and I took turns napping, though I don't think my nap was quite long enough. As nice as listening to the rain is from inside a car, it's even nicer listening to it from inside the house. It has stopped now, but is expected to return late tomorrow night and go through at least Saturday.

Despite not being quite prepared for the wet weather, I am satisfied with how the day unfolded. :) 

Day 114: on steeping in sisterhood

A bit of background: I have a good friend who runs a semi-formal circle, mainly for women and woman-oriented activities (though she offers some all gender activities as well) from a special studio she built on her property, and she lives about ten minutes away from me. She has been at it for 15 years and is going into her 16th year. She invited peeps to join her in an "envisioning ceremony" today, and several of us came together to discuss the future of this circle. She doesn't want it to die out when she does, down the line, so she wants to see how best we can carry it forward.

I have attended her rites and celebrations in the past. I co-created rituals with her for a year. I even trained under her to become an "official" Priestess. (I put official in quotes because I'm already a Priestess, but I wanted something in writing that I could show to anyone who asked.) So when she put the word out to consider what we could do to keep the magick going, of course I was going to be a Hell Yes! It was an opportunity to reconnect with friends I had lost touch with during some of the more challenging times over the past few years.

Originally, Himself was going to drop me off there and return home, but I double checked, and this wasn't a "woman-only" event. So I rang him up and invited him to come down. This time, he was the only man present, but I would not be surprised if other men came to join him in subsequent meetings, if only one or two others.

There was a delicious homemade quiche offered, along with a tasty salad, various fruits, and some yummy mint chocolate cookies. So we noshed and talked and brainstormed and opined...and it felt totally lovely to sink back in to the energy, which I have missed a lot. We came up with some good ideas and intriguing possibilities, and we all agreed to pursue this further. Personally, I took away some good energy in reconnecting with the energy and with my sisters, which I will need for this next week! 

I also intend to return next Sunday for the celebration of Imbolc, when we will gather to make Vision Boards. Yum! (Himself won't be attending that one.)

Day 81: on finding a bit of merry after all

It was raining when I woke up this morning. In colder climes, this would have been snow, and the perfect recipe for the fabled "White Christmas." As it's SoCal with its "Liquid Snow," it turned out to be a Wet Christmas for most of the day, much to the cats' dismay. ;)

With an invitation to attend the annual Christmas feast and party at the Live & Live Alano Club in San Diego, I had a choice: part of me saw the rain and wanted to stay home, nice and quiet. Part of me wanted to get out of the damn house and be a Social Person, to see and to be seen, and see if I could find a smidgen of the holiday spirit I seem to have misplaced with my back misbehaving. I had a choice, and I chose to push through the quiet melancholy in search of a bit of jolly for my holly. Glad I did!

After a quick breakfast, Himself and I grabbed some holiday beverages ("unleaded" eggnog for me, coffee for him) and braved the soggy roads for the trip south. We passed a handful of accidents along the way; people seem to forget how to Drive in Weather in SoCal on an annual basis. We made it unscathed, fortunately, and our prayers went out to those who wound up having a way worse Christmas, thanks to the slippery highway.

I've posted pictures of the festivities on both Messenger and Instagram in my Stories sections. There was plenty of food to be had and plenty of gifts to be opened and exchanged. I dutifully picked the ham out of my collard greens and enjoyed a vegetarian plate, while Himself enjoyed the meat. We split a dessert plate with cheesecake and chocolate chip cookies. As for the White Elephant gift exchange: we started with a hand soap + lotion set, then wound up with a set of tealights. This made me very happy - in taking care of myself and the family, "getting tealight candles" has been far down the priority list, well behind "securing cat food and people food," and also such matters as "paying bills." So to finally get my hands on some tealights made my Inner Priestess very happy.

By the time we were ready to leave, the rain had stopped, the skies were much clearer, and the roads were much drier. We made up two plates to go: one for Doug, a friend who's going through some challenging times these days, and the other for the Queen Mother, with smaller portions this time (lesson learned from Thanksgiving). Now it's a quiet evening, and I have rested my back sufficiently to be able to blog about my day.

Christmas turned out to be not bad at all, and perhaps I can carry this serenity and sense of Grace through the rest of my Yuletide. :)

Day 48: on feasting with friends

Himself and I started the holidays with a newer tradition: Thanksgiving Day dinner at the Live & Let Live Alano Club, a meeting place of 12-Step groups that is LGBTQ+ friendly. We took our veggie trays, collected a friend en route, and made it in time to partake in the feasting.

There were fewer familiar faces present this year, but the place was packed, and the food was plentiful. I made myself a "veggie plate": mashed potatoes, stuffing, green bean casserole, a carrot-almond dish, macaroni & cheese, cole slaw (one cabbage-based, the other kale-based, a green salad, a dinner roll, and a dollop of cranberry sauce. Only a dollop or so of each, but I was happily stuffed when all was said and done, especially after a modest slice of apple pie.

We made up a plate for the Queen Mother before we left, and I grabbed a bit of potato salad to pair with the excess stuffing for later. We also gathered up what remained of our veggie trays, which I will happily incorporate into many a salad for days to come. (Some folks have leftover turkey for days; I will have leftovere veggies. Works for me.) The Queen Mother enjoyed her special dinner when we got home. I spent much of the rest of the day napping, coloring my latest mandala, and snacking.

It was a good start to the holiday weekend all in all. Tomorrow, I will be feasting with members of my blood family, some of whom I haven't seen in years. It will be bittersweet this year, as we will also be formally saying goodbye to my uncle, who passed away in September. But we will make the best of it. :)

Day 47: on the day before

Today there was a sense of, "If you need anything, better get it NOW, before everything shuts down for the next few days." After an easy start to the day, that's what we wound up doing.

Our first stop was at Jewish Family Services. They have been extraordinarily helpful on this journey, since Himself was going through his cancer experience. They have a pantry for folks in need, and we have availed ourselves of this pantry from time to time. Today we received a "holiday bag" of food. There was a small Hormel turkey dinner (which the Queen Mother will enjoy), some pumpkin spice protein bars (heh - I have dibs on those), and various cans of food. I laid claim to the corn, and there are some things that we'll be able to share with friends who are also going through a rough patch.

Himself received some birthday money (a generous gift from his stepmother) a little early, so we went to Target to pick up a few things, including a pumpkin pie half the size of the usual pies available. Then we swung by Sprouts to grab a veggie tray for a potluck lunch we're going to attend tomorrow. Though the grocery stores were jumping yesterday and today, it was the calm before the storm at places like Target. No one in our family is planning to participate in the special insanity that is Black Friday this year.

We got some great news when we returned home: the property management company and the pest control company had agreed to postpone the fumigation in our complex until January. We all heaved a sigh of relief; now I have some time to see if we can squirrel away a bit of money for the hotel, or perhaps make an alternative arrangement, and also see if I can get Inkblot leash-trained. He is the more adventurous of the cats, and it would give us all greater peace of mind if I'm able to take him out on "supervised outings" while we have to be away from our home during the fumigation process.

After dinner, I tackled the paperwork that had piled up on the dining room table. Most got recycled, some of the rest went into a "reading pile" for Himself, and I have a short stack of catalogs to peruse. While sorting everything, I also pulled most of the necessary paperwork I needed to send along with the Queen Mother's Medi-Cal renewal. Now that we don't have to worry about the fumigation next week, I can focus on completing this process and dropping off the necessary forms at the county office. Dare I think December might actually be serene??

Although I see the Autumn Equinox as my time of Gratitude and Giving Thanks for the Bounty of Nature, there will be plenty for me, and us, to celebrate over the next few days. For my friends who will also be celebrating, enjoy the Feast.

Day 24: on suiting up & showing up

I did not want to get going today. I woke up with a case of the Heavies and it took me a while to shake it off, but I'm glad I did.

The first stop was at the County Health & Human Services office; fortunately there is a branch on the other side of town, so I didn't have to make the drive all the way down to San Diego. The IHSS people told me to talk to the Medi-Cal people a few doors down, so that was my next stop. Himself was with me, mainly to get out of the Queen Mother's hair, and his presence paid off when the attendant at the kiosk machines took one look at his cane and gave us a Disabled "Express" ticket.

When our number was called, we went to the assigned desk and I explained the situation again. The woman at the desk was very polite and understanding, even laughing at Himself's jokes as he cracked wise. She passed the Queen Mother's file along to one of the case workers, who we went to see when our number was called again. (I passed the time mainly by reading Caregiver articles from emails I had tagged "for future interest" on my phone.) The case worker was also very polite, and just as confused as I was. Not sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Eventually, she rescinded the dreaded IHSS Share of Cost for October and November...but we have until December to figure out how to get the Queen Mother back under the Federal Poverty Line. What, we have to be more broke than we already are?

Moving on: we nipped from one bureaucratic institution to another and drove down to the VA Medical Center (which is looking more and more SANE, if you can believe it! Himself received his physical therapy treatment for his right shoulder and inquired about his left shoulder; he will need to be referred back to PT by his primary doctor. Then came a trip to the Pharmacy to renew some of his medications. I'm in charge of keeping track of his meds, both in getting them ready for the week and making sure he doesnt run out of them, because of his TBI. This is my primary role for him right now - making sure he doesn't forget stuff, like taking his meds, or what a doctor might tell him at one of his numerous appointments.

On the way home, we stopped at Target to grab groceries, mainly for mom and the cats, and some for us as well. Tried to pay for the Queen Mother's groceries with her EBT card, but the darn thing wouldn't work! Fortunately, I had enough cash to cover everything, but my mood was not the best when we got home. I fixed the Queen Mother's dinner, then cooked up some mushroom ravioli for Himself and myself. Felt better after eating.

Then it was time to suit up and show up in a different way, as I accompanied Himself down to Beth Israel in La Jolla for a community rally. The place was SRO, and it was a lovely sight to see. Basically, the spiritual and civic leaders came together to affirm and promote Tolerance and Inclusivity in San Diego County. Many words were well said. Afterwards, Himself and I made our way to Denny's for some dessert. I had the Tres Leches "dessert" pancakes, and Holy Mother they were Deeeeeeeeee-Viiiiiiine!

I believe a good way to counter the Fear Culture is to find and cultivate as much JOY in life as possible. Tres Leches pancakes go a long way in doing that. :q