Day 312: on stepping it up

I got myself going and got the laundry in the washer just in time for Himself and I to drive down to Jewish Family Service in San Diego. Today was a 2-for-1, as I told the receptionist: not only were we going to visit the food pantry, but I was also going to speak with the coordinator for their Alzheimer's Disease Initiative. As far as we know, the Queen Mother does not have Alzheimer's, but their doors are open for other species of dementia as well, and she definitely qualifies there.

My goal was to get a fresh set of eyes to look at everything I had done, and had not been able to do, at this point. The Coordinator was very friendly and enthusiastic, and by the time we were finished with our brainstorming, I was satisfied in what I had been able to do thus far, and I also had a decent game plan for the next steps.

Then it was a visit to the Pantry, which was a bit picked over by the time we got there, but I was still able to find some treasures, and Himself got some chocolate macaroons for me. Though he can't eat them anymore, I still can. We will be scheduling our final run for the year (if not permanently) for November. 

Even with a bit of traffic to contend with, and even with a stop to pick up a few necessities at Trader Joe's, we got home right around 4pm today. The only problem was that Himself was going to have to do a quick turnaround if he wanted to get to his scheduled Club Board meeting at 6pm. We ran out of time to make an official run to the laundromat to dry the clothes, so I went old school and hung everything up. The amazing part is that everything is almost dry, so we should be okay come the morning. 

Tomorrow the appointments become medical in nature, with Himself going first. There is a decent gap between his appointments, so we'll see about filling that gap. :)  

Day 192: on reflecting in the calm...

I have had a restful day today. The closest I came to doing any sort of work was proofreading a document Himself had typed up before he sent it out. Other than that, the day has been filled with Morning Pages and mandala coloring.

I am happy to confirm that Himself's VA attorney has filed his case with the Board of Veteran's Appeals (I've been calling it the Board of Veteran's "Affairs" all this time. Oops!). Now we are officially scaling the last of the mountain, aiming for the summit.

In the meantime, we are still awaiting a key piece of mail, and as of today, it still hasn't arrived. Instead of my previous reaction to this development, I am experimenting on letting go of the pity poverty party that's been playing in my head. Yes, money is coming, and until it does, I still have Life to deal with, so that's what I'm going to do. I even drew and colored in a mantra in my Happy Yellow Book: "Expect Miracles Every Day!" Doubtless there is some irony in being inspired to do that on the same day Notre Dame is engulfed in flames...

For dinner this evening I successfully pan-fried some of my Veggie Gyoza and had it with some steamed rice and a salad. I used some of my Goddess Dressing as a dip, and oh yes indeedy that was a delicious choice! I will definitely be doing that again in the future. 

Riffing off of that: I am leaning toward joining the Intermittent Fasting posse and seeing how that works for me. I am thinking of doing the 16:8 variation, wherein one eats normally for eight hours in the day, then fasts for the other sixteen hours. It actually makes sense, and it's something that I can see myself doing more days than not. In the near future, I'm thinking of returning to (mostly) Veganism as well, because I feel better when I'm eating plant-based, Living Food than when I'm not. I say "mostly" because I love Honey, and I'm not quite ready to let that go yet. ;)

Tomorrow begins the latest iteration of "Appointment Week," which includes Himself's all important Oncology follow up. Our intention is to learn that Nothing is Untoward and All Is Still Well, and then perhaps have a picnic at the beach. Wish us luck. 

Day 155: on taking a step forward

We got up earlier than normal to take Inkblot back to the vet to check his temperature. The bad news was that it was still high, so they took him back to give him IV fluids to cool him down, but he was going to need to stay at the clinic for most of the day. I found myself secretly relieved, that he was going to be in good hands instead of being underfoot for the day. This also meant that I was going to need the car for the day so I could pick him up in the afternoon. Fortunately, Himself made alternate transportation arrangements to get to his monthly meeting.

I had my Tea and Morning Pages ritual, I did the laundry, I had a nap, and I took out the trash and recycling while the weather was still good. I showered when I was done, then collected Inkblot, whose temperature had returned to normal. He went straight into the kitchen once he was home, and had a bit of dinner, and visited the litterbox. He's been pretty well zonked ever since. We're taking turns keeping an eye on him. 

Because of Inkblot, and because the Queen Mother has refused all responsibility around him, we stayed local this evening, returning home after the usual Saturday night meeting early because of Himself's "strained" muscle. More and more, he believes something is actually torn instead of merely being strained, so we plan to make some noise come Monday to see if we can't get this situation looked at more closely and perhaps re-diagnosed.

Some good news awaited me in the mailbox when we got home: the Queen Mother has had her IHSS hours increased, so the re-certification went through. The new hours go into effect April 1st, so that's our firm deadline to get her switched to the Working Disabled program, and OFF of the income-based version of Medi-Cal. Now that I have an actual timeline to go with my actual goal, I feel revitalized and am preparing to go "Once More Unto the Breach," per King Henry V in the Bard's play, come Monday.

We will be setting our clocks ahead before bed tonight, as Daylight Savings Time kicks in. I have some thoughts around that, which I will share tomorrow. :)

Day 62: on rainy day reality

I have mentioned before how much I have wanted to have a rainy day at home. Today I did - and the reality didn't match up to the fantasy. Sir Isaac Newton says it best in his Third Law of Motion: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

My action was to cultivate a sense of Abundant Gratitude within. The reaction was a doubling down on my Depression. I had a massive case of the Heavies, a sense of Why Bother? flowing and ebbing through the day. Instead of curling up in bed and settling in for a 24 hour nap, this time, I resolved to Push Through...

While Himself watched the "never ending" coverage of the last journey of former President Bush (the elder), I put on headphones, found a jazzy station on Pandora, and tidied up the kitchen. That helped a little. Eating a late lunch helped a little. Doing some Shadow Work in the shower helped a little. The Heavies stayed stubbornly with me.

Finally I chose to step out into the Wild Wet Weather and check in with one of my caregiver support groups. There was actually a thunderstorm on the way down, and I felt the Heavies dissipating with each visible lightning strike. Suddenly, my angst didn't feel so big and overwhelming, when compared to the Awesome Power of Nature - not to mention that i felt rather grounded when we reached our destination.

The axiom When you don't want to go to a meeting, is when you really need a meeting, rang quite true. Himself and I got to the group at about 6pm. Both of us got a chance to share, and both of us got a chance to Witness. I came away with the idea that being an Only Child isn't necessarily a bad thing. Sibling rivalries, particularly around Wills and Trusts, can be very ugly.

Himself had originally considered hitting up a casino after the support group (he's rather good at Blackjack, and we're willing to try and curry Dame Fortune's favor at this point), but looking at the weather, and considering the winding twisty roads we would need to navigate to get to one of the decent non-smoking casinos, we chose to wait for the weekend (when it won't be raining), and chose to have a nice dinner instead (with a bit of his birthday money that he had stashed away).

I realized this was another thing I miss: just the two of us, having a nice dinner out, putting aside Duty and Responsibility for a couple of hours, eating tasty food and enjoying the ambiance. This is something I can prioritize, particularly in my "Going Small" perspective; dining out once a month doesn't seem too much to ask.

So we are back home, with a pair of coping cats who don't like the rain, and the Queen Mother, who is shuffling along the best that she can. Aren't we all...coping and shuffling along the best that we can?

Day 8: on feeling satisfied

First, I am congratulating myself on making it a week with blogging; more, to set up my blog on my little tablet, which I can use to make entries while the TV is on in the other room - and I don't have to feel distracted or upset or whatever.

Second, I'm also satisfied that I got some housework done today: the laundry is done, the kitchen is cleared of recycling and trash, and the dishes are in the dishwasher, which I will start once I finish this entry. It hasn't always been easy to find or generate enough motivation to work on the house, and put things (back) in order, and sometimes it's really super challenging to bust out of the Stinking Thinking and see a task through to completion. Today, order prevailed, for once I can actually GET started, momentum will carry me through to the end.

Today was a calm Autumn day, with rain in the morning and cool breezes in the afternoon. Typical of Southern California, though, a Santa Ana is supposed to be set up by the start of the week. Basically, hot dry desert winds blow in from the north and east, warming everything up and making it feel more like Summer, minus the humidity. I am one of those "weird" people who actually enjoy the heat, so I will be quite satisfied with the weather for my birthday next week.

I also had a good day with the Queen Mother. With Himself out taking care of his business today, mom was able to relax a bit more than usual, sine Himself usually watches "too much" TV, and has the house "too cold" for her to be comfortable. She mentioned lasrt week she wanted to eat a TV dinner, so I found a Hungry Man dinner for her. Yes there are leftovers, but she seemed to enjoy it well enough. After talking about the dinner, I made a note to look for some of the Stouffers dinners she "used to eat all the time." I wonder if she will remember what dhe used to like and not likem or if she'll simply eat what I put down in front of her.

It feels good to conclude here. We shall see what tomorrow brings...