Day 170: on further normalizing

Today I tried to convince myself that I "didn't have enough time" to do everything that I needed to do, which is my signal that it's very necessary to sip my Tea and write in my Morning Pages. When I was done, I realized I was trying to stuff ten pounds of potatoes into a five pound sack - overscheduling my day and viewing everything as "essential." So I let go of one thing, rearranged a few other things, chose not to freak out, and to enjoy the day.

It was really good to make the Sunday Support Group. It was good to share, and check in with our friends, one of whom is having some significant health challenges, but is getting through them with humor and Grace. I received a gift of colored pens, and I know the perfect home for them.

After group, Himself and I went to Walmart, as my money finally arrived today, and we were able to pick up some essentials. Then it was home and dinner. Afterwards, I had a nap and did some coloring in a new mandala, working to keep it Simple and Consistent, a new challenge for me. I find that I don't approach any two mandalas the exact same way. Then I actually brought a bit of order to the chaos in the recycling corner of the house. It's super easy just to toss things in that direction, so I need to remember to take the time to sort out what has been tossed!

After hearing the Wisdom shared by one of my Support sisters today, I am seeing that I need to make some different choices in how I navigate through Life. I am reminded that I can choose to Respond instead of to React. I can easily list the half-dozen or so reasons why I react the way I do these days, but do I need to give these reasons preference every single time? No, I can Breathe Deeply and oxygenate my blood, get some of that oxygen to the frontal lobes of my brain, and jump off the bandwagon of Instinct to access my Reasonal, Pragmatic Self.

These things will be good to remember as I move forward into next week. It is shaping up to be a full one, and I will need to stay somewhat on my toes. Goddess Grant that I can finally get the answers I've been looking for this week!

Day 11: on being a year older

My original plan for this blog was to begin on this day, the 16th, since it was my birthday, and document everything that unfolded over the course of the year to come. It became my "odyssey" after I came up with this blog's title as a hashtag on Twitter, and it began ten days earlier instead. Fun fact: the doctors originally set my date of birth on 10/6; my mother, who was actually carrying me, disagreed, saying I would be born 10/17. Guess who was more accurate? ;)

I don't feel any older, and I haven't really felt "older" at any point along the way in my life. What does that mean anyway, to "feel older"? I do feel wiser, though, and I hope to continue growing in Wisdom.

Here's an interesting observation: as horrid as I felt yesterday, today I felt pretty good. As disjointed as yesterday felt, today I felt In Sync and On Point. I was back in the Flow, and some sychronicities popped up to add Sweetness. I also went to Trader Joe's and got some of their Queso (semi-spicy) cheese dip, a small birthday treat for myself.

This leads to my other interesting observation: I'm at the point where I really don't need a big party attended by a ton of friends, eating decadent food, and receiving a huge pile of presents. Some quiet time where I can do a birthday reading for myself, and grab a few birthday treats, while being honored by my loved ones, is more than enough. While it's true that I had some more elaborate birthday plans earlier this year, and that I went through some Resistance when I realized I had to let go of those plans, today - now - I am Content. Besides, Himself promised to spoil me rotten in the near future. ;) Nevertheless, I'm still content. 

Today I have completed another orbit around the sun and began my next orbit. We shall see what this year has in store for me...