the "25 hour" day, and afterwards

I had been looking forward to the Falling Back of the Clocks in their one hour because it meant an extra hour of sleep. The sleep was okay, but what benefit I got out of it vanished as I chased Pippa around the house yesterday morning to try and help her clean her slightly poopy butt! Cat poop is perhaps the most noxious smell in the Universe, and it took everything in me not to hurl as I provided an assisting wipe or two. Pippa handled the rest of the work, though, and all was well, and blessedly non-poopy..

With the changing of the clocks, there is a Changing of the Seasons that one can feel around this time in Southern California. One changes from tank tops and shorts to t-shirts and pants. One smells the woodsmoke coming from the neighbors' fireplaces at night. One throws an extra blanket on the bed. One looks forwards to the warmth in one's morning beverage to help chase the chill away. One stops using the air conditioner and starts using the heater, especially in the early mornings, and doubly especially if one lives with one's mother who complains about being Cold All Of The Time!

On that note: the Queen Mother's body is definitely catching up with her mind now. The "blah feeling" in her body is not going away, and she's not as peppy as she has been. The colder weather is not helping her mood or her bones, I suspect. 

I am continuing my dalliance with Acceptance of my situation. My hidden motivations become more clear with all of the Shadow Work I am doing. I am starting to look forward to what I will be able to do while Himself is away; nothing grand, mind you, but maybe getting out a bit more than usual to enjoy some fresh air! I haven't yet dove into my pile of Real Books, but I am moving into my next Moontime, and I have been feeling the pull inward most significantly. I have to remind my Loved Ones: It's nothing personal, I just want to be left alone with the cats. M'kay. It will be tempting to sleep a lot during the next few days anyway.

Unlike previous weeks, this week is opening up as unscheduled and unfilled. With the Trickle about to become a Flood, I'm in no rush to fill it.  

Day 288: on taking advantage, once more

Had an easy day today. :)

Managed to keep Himself at home long enough to run over to Target and grab some things that the Queen Mother had run out of; got some iced tea while we were at it. Then Himself went back down to San Diego to see if there were any other fires to put out, while I stayed home.

I finished coloring my mandala, but didn't post it. Not sure if I will in the future. While coloring, I turned on Pandora and listened to some music, first the Meditation station we had "created," then some Middle Eastern / Indian music from another station, when I felt like picking up the pace a little.

Besides listening to Pandora, I did something else that I hadn't done in too long: took my little portable chair and sat Outside under the maple tree that is in front of our home. The cats stayed near me while I put my bare feet on the grassy lawn and listened to the birdsong and watched butterflies flit by - all because I rescued a grasshoper that Inkblot had brought in the house, and thought it was way too nice of a day to let go to waste! Let me see if I can cut through the cortisol haze and sit outside more often!

Tomorrow Himself will be going Yet Again to San Diego, so I will see about making it a day for some Huswifery! I really need to tackle the mess again.

Day 272: on celebrating inTERdependence

Today I made some deliberate choices...
I chose to log out of Social Media, and will stay logged out for the rest of the month. I don't have the bandwidth right now to witness the struggles and the conflicts - and with communications only getting worse before they get better, I'm going to let the slings and arrows fly very far away from me.

I chose instead to seek out Joy in Fellowship, in being out in Fresh Air and Sunshine, surrounded by other human beings doing the best they can, one day at a time, and also choosing every day to make a solid change in their lives.

Although earlier in the day I was anxious about making it On Time, I chose later to let go of a strict timeline, and found things flowing easier as a result. (I am also choosing to take this anxiety to the altar of the Goddess and hand it over one more time.)

In the evening, Himself and I chose to be with a smaller circle of friends to eat pizza and watch fireworks. I chose to observe their beauty, and was amused when a few close booms kept setting off the alarm on a nearby truck. I chose to be in awe of the New Moon as she set in the sky in the west, just before the light show began.

Big and small, I have awesome Families of Choice, people I have grown to care for, and who have grown to care for me in return. People who ask me how the Queen Mother is doing; people who commiserate with us when we share our latest news.

Tomorrow will be a brief return to the business at hand before the (rest of the) weekend unfolds. Today I chose to step out of my routine, and I am full*filled and happy. :)

Day 268: on deep relaxation

I didn't have a Do Nothing Day today, but I came rather close. It felt luxurious and decadent.

I did more reading than I had "planned" to do. I was going to read a couple of articles but they turned out to be very long, though very entertaining. I am out of my regular Chai tea at the moment, so I snuck one of my mother's Constant Comment tea bags and enjoyed that with some of my reading. 

A few weeks ago Constant Comment tea was the topic of some discussion among my partners in blogging, and now I know why. It reminds me of one of my favorite teas, Lady Grey tea, but the orange and bergamot is not as sweet in Constant Comment. Still, a good tea and a nice change of pace.

When I finally got around to eating, I made myself some egg sandwich "sliders," basically dinner rolls cut in half, with some avocado tzatziki spread from Trader Joe's on one side (Himself bought it but I'm eating it, as it contains bits of onion and other things disagreeable to his digestive system), and some brie cheese spread on the other side, with just a dab of salsa on each bit of scrambled egg. They were delicious. I would later have a bit more cheese with some rice pilaf that Himself brought home last night.

I did convince myself to do a bit of work on the computer in the afternoon, and Himself joined me on a cat food run after he got home this evening and we both had a shower. It was Jaguar Weather, as I call it, very sunny and very warm today, and a bit more humid than usual for SoCal. Other than that, I took advantage of the empty agenda I had and Relaxed Deeply, getting a bit of that Staycation I had been craving. 

Tomorrow will be busy enough, with the paying of key bills and a Cardiac session, along with grocery shopping. He has his money; now I'm waiting on mine.

Day 266: on entering the last hundred days

This is the first day of the last hundred days of my year-long blogging project. I am totally pleased with myself that I have not missed a day, though I have tweaked the clock several times to make sure I fit into the parameters. I intend to continue this blog after the initial project comes to a graceful conclusion, though I don't think I will be posting every day. If nothing else, I will be taking weekends off, perhaps holidays as well, and I will think very hard about posting during a Mercury Retrograde period. ;)

As I enter these last hundred days, I am finally seeing some shifting in my attitude. I'm not quite ready to sing about the hills and the Sound of Music just yet, but I am not nearly as dense and Heavy as I was when I started. A lot of this I attribute to working out with Himself as he rehabilitates his heart. I seem to be getting as much out of the sessions as he is, if not a little more. Today Himself and I tackled the Stairmaster, after which my legs were hating on me for a few minutes. I rested and finished up my day on the hand bike, after which my arms started hating on me for a few minutes. The stiffness and soreness were short-lived, though, as I rested and drank my water. Once again, I got my Sparkle on (aka, broke a sweat).

I move my body and breathe in more oxygen. I move my body and start dropping some weight. Right now, I'm down some 15 pounds from when I first considered Intermittent Fasting a few months ago, and some 25 pounds from my heaviest point. Not eating as much for as long is also helping me regain some focus and some Serenity. I'm no longer trying to Eat My Emotions as fast as I could shovel food down my throat, and I'm making an effort to eat more nutritious things and cut back on those comfort foods. I stray outside the "fasting zone" on occasion, but I've so far managed to get back on track within the next day or so. Tomorrow in fact I'm going to have a fruit breakfast because I had a little extra today.

I am still hopeful that I will finish this blogging odyssey in a radically different place than when I started it; at the very least, I have begun Unsticking myself in significant ways. This weekend I have that paperwork that I will tackle for good before I move on to the next task. As Himself will be fulfilling some commitments in San Diego, this gives me some windows of opportunity to get some good work done. Though my words might be few and my posts brief, I will be checking in.

Here's to everyone having a nice restful weekend before we enter the July Fry...and Eclipse Season.

Day 247: on the important business

Himself and I awoke earlier than usual to pop the cats into their carriers and drive over to the Humane Society today to take advantage of their Sunday Vaccination clinics, where we can get their shots for $10 a pop. As they needed their FVRCP vaccines and their Rabies vaccines, that waS $40 total - perfect for folks on a budget like us. Pippa was none too happy with the experience, vocalizing her displeasure all the way down and back; Inkblot, in contrast, barely made a peep. I'm not sure whether he took comfort from his sister's presence, or whether he might actually be getting used to riding in a car. :o

I'm glad we got up and moving when we did: the clinic is on a first-come, first-served basis, and they cut off their intake at 75 critters. We wound up at the "tail end" of the line at numbers 67 & 68. The cats have been hating on us ever since they got home, being friendly for mealtime but not much else. Starting tomorrow, they will be really hating on us once we drop them off at PetSmart! That's where the post-fumigation can of people tuna will come in. ;)

The other miracle of the day came when I tidied up in front of our bed in our bedroom. I managed to get rid of a whole bunch of magazines that I was initially saving for collaging, but popped into the recycling bin instead. There will always be more magazines to peruse and harvest images from! I'm very proud of myself right now for managing to Let Go where I had Clung Tightly before. We also dropped off some clothes and shoes at the Goodwill up the street, as I'm on a bit of a mission to empty out all plastic bags before we leave for a week. I don't want any of the noxious gas to be left behind, waiting for a chance to shoot up any unsuspecting nostrils.

Side note: I have tried in the past to sell clothes before, but the amount I received for my wardrobe castoffs didn't even cover the gas money used to transport them. Unless you're a fashion- forward size two through size six, don't bother; just donate instead. Besides, I found myself holding onto the bags while waiting till the "perfect moment" to sell them, and that meant they were just sitting around doing nothing while I was occupied by Life. I'm working on Just Letting Stuff Go instead of waiting for that Perfect Moment to Sell and Make Money. In the end, I'm remembering it's more about clearing out space and less about gaining pocket money.

Tonight and tomorrow is the packing of all the food we are not taking with us into the special bags. Tomorrow is the day we depart onto our "forced" Fumigation Staycation. I choose to believe I am doing the best I can do, and will just leave the rest for when we return home.

Day 222: on following up (part 2)

We started off today with the Queen Mother this time. Her doctor wanted her to get some labs done; I believe it's primarily an annual test of her cholesterol levels. So I woke up a bit earlier than usual, assisted by my very hungry cats (who then completely snubbed their breakfast, go figure!) and had a quick shower before bundling the Queen Mother into her chariot, getting her in the car, and driving over to the Labcorp office.

The fact that both the main parking lot and the multi-level parking lot were both full should have been our clue. We went up to the second floor, orders in hand, and found a waiting room at full capacity. All told, it was an hour before the Queen Mother got her blood drawn...and this was a fasting lab, meaning she wasn't supposed to eat beforehand. Add the fact that she can't tolerate ANY air conditioning very well, and she was not a happy camper when we were finally finished.

She says she will "never" go have blood drawn again. I say she won't remember what happened in about a week. We'll see who is right in about a year or so.

By the time we returned home, and the Queen Mother was ready to eat breakfast, Himself and I had to go to tend to his appointments. It quickly became apparent that Himself wouldn't be able to make his eye appointment in anywhere near a timely fashion, so we will have to reschedule it again. Third time will hopefully be the charm!

So we made it down to Mission Valley and found a Starbucks that wasn't horribly crowded, and I was able to cash in some of my loyalty points to get a free Baja black bean burrito wrap. It's new and it's good, especially with a touch of the ranch dressing - though I'm not sure if it's worth the eight-and-a-half dollar price tag. (Yikes!)

There was a bit of Synchronicity for both of us while Himself sipped and I brunched: on one side, there was an interview being conducted for a medical appointment ride service. That brought Himself's ears up, as it might give him something to do once his heart issues are squared away. On the other side, there was an interview being conducted for a caregiving service, which brought MY ears up (hello, Respite Care!) Both of us grabbed the respective business cards; I will be in touch, at least on my end.

We wound up arriving for Himself's appointment with his primary care doctor a bit early - and we still wound up waiting an hour ourselves! It was worth it, though, as we had a long, thorough discussion with his doctor, both about his Cardiac Event and his new medication regimen. We will have a couple of his regular prescriptions to pick up on Monday when he starts his next round of appointments for that week.

Traffic wasn't too bad on the way home, and dinner was duly served when we arrived. Fortunately for me, 1) there aren't any other appointments to attend to for the rest of this week, and 2) there's a caregiver support group tomorrow, which I'm going to attend come rain or shine - and it's forecast to rain for six of the next seven days! It's not supposed to be a hard rain, but the question still remains: when did Southern CA change places with Southern OR?? (Really, rain at this time of the year is very unusual around here!)

Planning to kick back and rest for a few days, while the rain falls and the plants grow, and the nose runs, tickled by all of the pollen in the air... ;)