getting through

Well, I managed to grab the salad fixings for the Turkey Day potluck dinner last week at the Alano Club, along with what I needed to hunker down through the holiday to get to the other side. I was all ready to brave the rain and the crazy driving with Himself last Thursday, until I was unexpectedly hurtled into Moontime. I still managed to make the salad and sent it off with Himself, and he brought back leftovers for me and the Queen Mother. Most of that day, though was spent flat on my back, in bed, with much napping.

It's not that I'm doubled over in pain when my Moonflow really gets going. Yes, I feel cramps, but they're more intense than actually painful, and that's only for the first day or two. What really stops me in my tracks is the feeling of all of my free energy retreating into my uterus and staying there, from a day or two before I actually start,  until the flow starts to ebb after a couple of days of significant bleeding. Adding to the fun is the dark river of emotions that rises close to the surface, instead of flowing in the depths of my mind. This time around, I was reacquainted with my Anger. Some of my boundaries still felt disregarded and stepped upon, and they were not happy about that. When I was awake, it was a good time for some Shadow Work - mainly in acknowledging that Yes, I was feeling these feelings, and Yes, these feelings are Valid. 

When I need to, and when I'm given enough warning, I can pull myself together sufficiently to go out into the world while in my Moontime. I got the (ahem) "opportunity" to skim along in the Black Friday shopping frenzy because cats need to eat and poop in their litter box, and people need to eat too. I managed to cross just about everything off of our grocery lists, and happily melted back into bed once we got home. It was good to ride the energetic waves to get the shopping done, and it was just as good to leave the waves behind and return to calm smooth waters.

The page has now turned to December, and with the new month came the all-important Blood Draw plus CT Scan for the Queen Mother. We did that earlier today, and it will probably take another day or two for her to recover. Her big challenges are 1) her diminutive stature, and 2) the osteoarthritis in her legs, which all but eliminates any range of motion. Just about all the medical equipment is scaled for folks at least five feet in height, and she's below that threshold by a good half-foot. She was in a great deal of pain when she returned home and was swearing up-down-and-sideways that she wouldn't be doing anything like that Ever Again. She has since napped and eaten, so her attitude has perked up a bit.

These tests will tell us if there is a specific species of Dementia in her brain, or if it's all just aggressive Cognitive Impairment. At the very worst, we will continue to slog along as we have been; at best, we will be able to access resources specific to certain Dementias once we have an official diagnosis in hand. I am looking for an answer, even if there is no obvious answer to be had. I should know the results sometime this week.

We are drying out again and anticipating a bit more rain this week, but not in the quantities that we've had the past two weeks. I'm keeping my shoes and socks handy. ;)

the "25 hour" day, and afterwards

I had been looking forward to the Falling Back of the Clocks in their one hour because it meant an extra hour of sleep. The sleep was okay, but what benefit I got out of it vanished as I chased Pippa around the house yesterday morning to try and help her clean her slightly poopy butt! Cat poop is perhaps the most noxious smell in the Universe, and it took everything in me not to hurl as I provided an assisting wipe or two. Pippa handled the rest of the work, though, and all was well, and blessedly non-poopy..

With the changing of the clocks, there is a Changing of the Seasons that one can feel around this time in Southern California. One changes from tank tops and shorts to t-shirts and pants. One smells the woodsmoke coming from the neighbors' fireplaces at night. One throws an extra blanket on the bed. One looks forwards to the warmth in one's morning beverage to help chase the chill away. One stops using the air conditioner and starts using the heater, especially in the early mornings, and doubly especially if one lives with one's mother who complains about being Cold All Of The Time!

On that note: the Queen Mother's body is definitely catching up with her mind now. The "blah feeling" in her body is not going away, and she's not as peppy as she has been. The colder weather is not helping her mood or her bones, I suspect. 

I am continuing my dalliance with Acceptance of my situation. My hidden motivations become more clear with all of the Shadow Work I am doing. I am starting to look forward to what I will be able to do while Himself is away; nothing grand, mind you, but maybe getting out a bit more than usual to enjoy some fresh air! I haven't yet dove into my pile of Real Books, but I am moving into my next Moontime, and I have been feeling the pull inward most significantly. I have to remind my Loved Ones: It's nothing personal, I just want to be left alone with the cats. M'kay. It will be tempting to sleep a lot during the next few days anyway.

Unlike previous weeks, this week is opening up as unscheduled and unfilled. With the Trickle about to become a Flood, I'm in no rush to fill it.  

missing the daily posting, sort of

Confession time: yes, a part of me misses the daily posting on the blog here. A bigger part of me was preoccupied with my Moontime these last few days, so that part was glad not to post, because I wasn't sure if I would have any words to bring to the table. My rational mind goes fuzzy while I bleed, and I disconnect from the outside world. Once the heaviest of the bleeding has passed, though, I feel myself starting to "ascend" from the depths of my mind and I begin to reconnect with the world and start using words again.

I finally managed to schedule the Queen Mother's Prolia injection for her osteoporosis, which will take place next Monday. We are still waiting for the authorization for her CT scan; we plan to take care of her bloodwork on the same day. She is doing better physically - not as many naps, and she seems to be not so loopy and grumpy - but she has slipped a little more mentally, finding it more difficult to get the words to express herself from mind to mouth. I'm wondering if asking for a urinalysis to look for a UTI might not be a bad idea, since that seems to plague folks the Queen Mother's age (and older) a lot.

Himself has a big week coming up this week. He has a PET scan tomorrow, to track an "odd nodule" somewhere in his intestines and see if it's glowing more, or less. He will also be getting some blood drawn for labs prior to the PET scan. Then we visit the oncologist on Thursday to hear the results of this latest round of tests and see if he's still in remission. I'm betting he will be. Friday brings us a follow up with the weight control people, where he will be updating them on his progress. In the meantime, the Alano Club (where he's the Secretary of the Board of Directors) is keeping him plenty busy. He's had to "imitate a morning person" for the past few days, and he doesn't do as good of a job as I do. ;)

A little something interesting: when Himself and I first got together, I got to the point where I didn't want to do Everything Together because I didn't want to cultivate any codependency. Now that he has been away more than he's been at home as of late, I find myself both missing him, and also wondering where that Independent Streak of mine went! Things at the Club should start slowing down now, with a bit more stability being introduced, so perhaps I'll get my husband back.

I'm also going to enroll in a program that the Southern Caregiver Resource Center is offering, where we pay half of the going rate for an Agency-supplied caregiver, and SCRC will pay the other half. I've narrowed it down to two agencies, and I have a few questions I need answered before I make my selection, the most important being whether or not we can get someone who likes cats! I'm thinking I will need to get another bags of bribes - I mean, treats - in order for the caregiver to win the cats over. One big step in getting ready to go to Seattle!

Thus and so, what has been going on for me over the past few days, and what is to come.

after fasting and feasting

Indeed it is Thursday and not Wednesday, but yesterday was another long day, and I was ready for bed by the time all was said and done.

Yesterday was Yom Kippur, often considered the most important Jewish holy day of the year. It is the Day of Atonement, of fasting from sundown the day before to sundown the day of. Himself and I fasted most of the time, breaking the fast only midday to have a croissant and some tea from Starbucks. With his cancer adventures, it's not medically advisable for him to fast the entire day, and his digestive system is thrown off kilter if he doesn't eat a lot, which can lead to other messy and nasty issues. So he did eat a small bit, but adhered to the fasting overall. I also snacked on a few baby carrots before we returned to the synagogue.

It's true that I didn't need to fast with him. We are an "Interfaith" family officially, as Himself is Jewish and I am Pagan, which leads to some interesting conversations. However, I also believe that occasional fasting is a good way to reset the body and the spirit (prayer work optional), and I'm not going to be completely rude and eat in front of him when he can't eat at all. I wasn't in significant discomfort, thanks to my little "cheats," and I didn't get terribly bent out of shape as happens occasionally when I get Hangry. Part of it, I bet, is in the Expectation: when I am expecting to eat, vs. when I am fasting and not expecting to eat, at least not before sundown.

Back to yesterday: after sundown, there were "appetizers" of juice, challah bread, and apples with honey to dip them in, which were consumed most enthusiastically. Then we caravanned up to the home of one of the congregants for the Breaking of the Fast, where we did indeed break the fast with a potluck feast. After attending a few of these potlucks, I have decided I am going to start bringing salads, as there has been a marked deficit of veggies!

Everything, of course, was very tasty, with the exception of some macaroni and cheese that was very cold and off-putting. There was good conversation to be had during and after the feasting, with Himself doing most of the talking. It's not that I'm a bad conversationalist at all. He is quite happy to talk about his naval adventures, his cancer adventures, and all of his adventures, and I'm happy to let him have the spotlight in these situations. When all was said and done, we wound up bringing home more food than we had taken, some of which has been eaten today. I gathered together a few of our own leftovers and combined them with a can of beans to have with my salad for dinner tonight. 

I slept long and well last night into today. This day has been very slow and quiet, as I am re-entering the Moon Lodge and am waiting for the trickle to become a flood. The days immediately before, and the first days of, my Moonflow, I become super introverted and not at all willing to do more than the bare minimum of interaction. The fact that I'm doing this blog tonight is a minor miracle. Whatever else my life looks like, I am super blessed to be able to ease back on the throttle and REST, and be very quiet, for a few days out of every month.

Inkblot is dozing on the bed beside me as I type, and Pippa has claimed the top of the dresser for the moment. The top of the dresser is Prime Territory for both of them. Sometimes they're good at sharing, other times they're not. Today has been a good sharing day so far.

I think that will do it for now. Until next time...

Day 349: on re-entering

I wound up not doing a whole lot today, partly because Himself woke up early and I went back to bed once everything had settled down, so I wound up sleeping in. I was also completing my Moontime and am still a little scattered. Tomorrow will be a better day to do the things.

We also got a late start this evening and wound up not making our meetings; however, we stopped by the ocean and had a good heart-to-heart conversation, one that was a bit overdue. Once we got home, we stepped out quickly to refill one of our water jugs, and have now declared ourselves Done for the Evening.

I'm still a bit tired from the early wake-up call, so this will be another brief entry.

Day 347: on being somewhat useful

I felt rather good today, so I agreed to help Himself with the recycling. Between what we had and what he had brought home with him from the Alano Club, we got ourselves nearly $31, and for recycling, that's pretty good!

After that, we washed the car down and vacuumed it out and cleaned it rather well. I helped out a bit there too, then started to feel a bit overextended. By the time we finished with a spot of grocery shopping, I was rather overextended. Just because the heaviest part of my Moonflow was behind me didn't mean I was free and clear. Once I put together dinner for the Queen Mother, I had a nice lie-down on the bed.

Himself wanted to go out to dinner, and I felt rested enough - and hungry enough, to join him. We went over to Red Robin, one of the places where they serve Impossible Burgers. I had a Mushroom-Swiss burger with an Impossible Burger substitution.

Full disclosure: I have been a vegetarian for ten years. I haven't had red meat since my college years - nearly thirty years if I'm counting right. The last hamburger I had made me horribly sick. When I first bit into this burger - Oh. My. Goddess. I was convinced that it was beef. My mouth was absolutely convinced I had been tricked. I asked the waiter, who assured me it was an Impossible Burger. I waited to get sick, but my stomach said Plant Material - okay to digest! I was beside myself. Indeed, it was Impossible! :-)

If you're into Organic Everything, though, this is not the burger substitute for you. There is some genetic modification involved to make this taste more beef-like, but it doesn't have any meat added to it At All and is 100% Plant Based. I did the research.

Himself dropped me off and went to his meeting, and I rested. I'm feeling much better. This is a good thing, because the next appointment the Queen Mother has is tomorrow, when we follow up with her doctor. Yes, she has her list. We will see what happens. I am planning to ask if bringing a geriatrician on board would be a good move, not that I don't trust her doctor, but it might be time for a fresh set of eyes to look at her.

Day 346: on one more day

I'm no longer feeling Super Tired, but I'm not back up to snuff just yet. So I had another quiet day. The one thing I managed to do was to put away the medications he picked up from the VA Pharmacy yesterday, and made sure his medication regimen for the week was up to date.

Speaking of - Himself did his laundry today, saving the recycling for tomorrow in case I feel like I can help him. He was also totally lovely in picking up the Queen Mother's prescription for Zofran, which helps her with her gallstone episodes. She has a doctor's appointment on Thursday and she says she's going to "write a chart" of all of her maladies. This will be interesting.

I had a Trader Joe's dinner tonight: Veggie Biryani with a salad (of baby greens, mushrooms, artichoke hearts, and one olive), with some Mango Sticky Rice rolls (and a syrup dip) for dessert. Very tasty all the way around.

I might actually be a little more useful tomorrow. I feel like I'm beginning the Ascent. We shall see...

Day 345: on deep resting

Another brief post, as I have spent most of the day resting. Immediately before and during the first half of my Moonflow, I all but can't do anything except rest. I did have to grab some towels to sop up another toilet overflow in the Queen Mother's bathroom, and plunge that sucker three times to make sure it would flush, but flush it finally did. Himself wants to do some laundry tomorrow, so I'm going to see if we can piggyback the washing of the icky towels with drying out his clothes. I believe there are one or two other things that I will be taking care of as well. More on that tomorrow.

And now, back to the bleeding. 

Day 344: on doing before the flow

I have felt the introversion building all day as I get ready to bleed in earnest, most likely starting tomorrow. Even so, I managed to drive Himself down to the Alano Club, then return home and get the necessary groceries and do the necessary laundry. Not only that, my Very Tired moments were just that today...Very Tired. I didn't find myself jumping down any rabbit holes of Depression. Yay for me.
tired.

Being Very Tired, though, I am going to be brief this evening, and leave it at that. 

Day 316: on stepping slower

Now that I know that the Moonflow is about to begin, I can slow down without feeling guilty. I got the important things out of the way, like getting cat food and a water refill and the Queen Mother's new prescription for Fosamax. Then I was able to come home and indulge in some extended napping.

The Queen Mother then read the information sheet included with the Fosamax, and decided she wasn't going to take it, mainly 1) because it involves sitting up for 30 minutes after taking it, and that would hurt her back big time, and 2) because she's trying to avoid the side effects it specifically mentions, like constipation and nausea. She intends to write a letter tomorrow to the doctor explaining all of this; doubtless I will need to remind her of this. 

I will see what I'm up to doing tomorrow. 

Day 315: on stepping back in

Yesterday did not start off the best and didn't get significantly better, and it was mainly a self-inflicted reaction to muffed expectations and mis-steps blown way out of proportion. Based on what I noticed after I got home this evening, yesterday's meltdown was also a big marker of Pre-Menstrual Sensitivity, so at least I'm not yet ready for an extended stay at the Psych Ward.

We got the Queen Mother to her appointment yesterday just before the 15 minute cutoff for tardiness. If we had been one minute later, we would have had to reschedule. Besides the gallstones, it was revealed that she has osteoporosis in her hips, so if she falls, that's what is most at risk. Her spine, on the other hand, is still reasonably strong, even if she says it hurts like hell. She is going on Fosamax and we are also going to see if we can find her a petite "donut" cushion for what cushion she has left on her backside.

Once she got home yesterday, she said she felt a bit off, which progressed to feeling "way off" by this morning. My best guess at this moment is that all the stress and effort it takes to leave home and then return again causes a gallstone attack, which she then needs some time to recover from. She seems to have recovered from it by the time we came home this evening, and in fact is staying up a little later than usual to watch one of her favorite shows, NCIS Los Angeles. I am keeping this tendency towards gallstone attacks in mind when booking future appointments for her.

Against the earlier backdrop of uncertainty around the Queen Mother, though, I needed first to drop Himself up for his shift behind the coffee bar at the Alano Club, then return home to make sure mom was okay, then come back down to head up my meeting (as there would not have been anyone else available to do it), and finally pick Himself up from the Club and return home. Today was not as stressful as yesterday was, but the ambiguity present kept me on my toes and on a bit of an edge. 

With all of the minor mishaps and "near misses" of yesterday, I finally declared myself Done and promptly had a full blown meltdown. Besides the aforementioned PMS, I had to admit that I was feeling Really Super Tired, all the way in to my bones. What I need is rest, but outside of my days of bleeding, it doesn't look like I'm going to find it anytime soon. At least those days are actually closer to unfolding than I first thought!

At any rate, I am feeling better now, as I am home, the Queen Mother is feeling much better as well, and we are all resting, even the cats. Tomorrow will be a new, easier and more casual day, and perhaps one where I can find a solution to those pesky ants!

Day 289: on expanding my horizons a little

Himself got up and moving early, and I only got up to feed the cats before returning to bed. I didn't get up until the Queen Mother had left her bathroom.

It's a sure sign that things are heating up when the cats stay in more than they are out, at least at mid-day. I wouldn't want to run around in a fur coat that I couldn't take off either.

What makes the cats (and Himself) miserable makes the Queen Mother (and Myself) happy: the hot weather makes her arthritis more tolerable, and seems to give me an energy boost. There's a reason I call myself a Jaguar. I am so totally affected by the seasons it isn't even funny.

Despite starting my monthly adventure in the Moontime, I got all of the trash out and took care of the recycling: some in the blue bins by the dumpster, some in the blue bins outside of our house. The latter we empty out periodically and recycle their contents for cash.

We've run a bit short on water, so I had to figure out what to have for dinner that didn't involve it. (Unfortunately, our tap water is not the best for drinking.) I steamed some rice in vegetable broth in our rice cooker, and opened up a can of "Black Bean Fiesta" from Bush's. It was seasoned just right, and was mighty tasty after I added the rice and put together a salad for good measure. I had not planned on cooking for myself, but improvised very nicely.

I'm back to listening to music on Pandora, the same "exotic" station I was listening to last night. I haven't heard some of these songs for a while, and I am enjoying hearing some of the subtleties I missed previously.

I have no idea as to what will unfold tomorrow, or this next week, so I shall be playing it by ear, as usual.

Day 263: on doing just enough

Today I woke up feeling a bit behind the 8-ball, which is more along the lines of how I expect to feel when I am in my Moontime. I still managed to pull myself together enough to help the Queen Mother take her weekly shower, then take my own shower and wash my hair (which badly needed it). While mom was showering, Himself went to his latest chiropractic appointment. Once everything was squared away, we went down to Jewish Family Services to hit up their Corner Market, aka the food pantry.

There was a lot of yummy vegetarian and vegan food present today; I tried very hard not to overload my cart, keeping my eyes in line with my stomach. I have enough now to make tasty salads to go along with my dinners, along with some bread to satisfy both Himself and myself. My one indulgence this time was a large squeezable jar of sweet pickle relish. What can I say, I miss pickles! We did pretty well, though at times I felt a bit rushed. I wanted to slow down a bit more and make sure I was making good choices. 

Afterward, I used the last of my cash to grab a few cans of cat food, and Himself used some cash out of his "electronic wallet" to grab a few shaving essentials - stuff that the food pantry does not carry. By the time we were all done, it was about 3:45pm, and there were accidents on the northbound I-15. Needless to say, we were a bit delayed arriving home. I called the Queen Mother to warn her beforehand.

Towards the end of the week we are expecting some more help, and I am hoping that between that and this latest pantry run, that will be the LAST of the help we need. If Himself's attorney is right, sometime between now and the end of August he should receive a judgment in his case, and we will see just how much cash he gets. Keeping our fingers crossed...

Depending on how fast I am flowing tomorrow, I might or might not go with Himself to his rehab appointment. If I don't, it will back to the pile of paperwork patiently waiting for me. Whatever else happens, I will be getting some good sleep tonight.

Day 262: on being slow and steady

Instead of waking up "weighed down," I woke up surprisingly energized and buoyant today. I didn't question why; I took the ball and strode forward with it. Running with the ball will abide till the end of the week. ;)

I deliberately paced myself, moving slowly and steadily through the day. I made headway in some of the paperwork I needed to get done. I finally rounded up all of the recycling in the kitchen - washing out glass jars and bottles, bagging empty cat food cans, putting together empty yogurt cups - and put everything in its place. I also started loading up the dishwasher. 

I even managed to cook myself some dinner: black beans, rice, a bit of salsa, one packet of chili sauce, and (ahem) four packets of ketchup. I wound up with something tasty, yet only had a little heat in it. It paired well with my salad. A few days ago I paired "chili" beans, basically pinto beans in a yummy tomato based sauce with added spices, with some of my remaining tri-color quinoa. I boosted up the iron content in my food to help fortify me in my Moontime; perhaps that's why I felt rather awake this morning.

Tonight I felt sociable, watching some TV with the Queen Mother: American Ninja Warrior along with the first half of the Spain vs. US women's soccer game. I watched the second half of the game with Himself. Not bad at all for a Monday, and a full bleeding Monday yet!

Tomorrow, though, I will have to leave the home while bleeding, but it should be okay. Just need to figure out how to work on the "administrative" tasks before me. I will, as always, do my best.

Day 261: on the calm before the storm

I am entering the Moontime this evening, and all indications are that it's going to be a doozy. What has been surfacing from the depths for me has been waves of Overwhelm ~ Too Much ~ Can't Do It All Anymore ~ Bone Deep Fatigue. For this next week at least, I truly need to Go Small, Micromove, focus on doing just One Thing, One Day at a Time.

I won't be going with Himself tomorrow to his Cardiac Rehab session; I will be fortunate to be out of bed for more than an hour at a stretch, methinks. It feels like a good time to tie off some loose ends for Shadow-Work, if I can avoid getting mired in the swamp of Stinking Thinking. 

I did go yesterday to the Rehab session, which was a bit shorter than before, with Himself's body putting up more of a fuss. We did get some good work in, though. Then he surprised me with a trip over to the beach for a little ocean time. It was most appreciated.

Today I managed to pull myself together, by degrees, and we made it back to the Support Group that comes together on Sundays, for the first time this month. We had a new person join us, who fit right in nicely. I shared primarily about our fumigation adventure, between helping the Queen Mother and how the cats fared (not well, but not horribly either). We shared longer than usual today, so were a bit later coming home than I had planned, but we got home in plenty of time for dinner.

I managed to get back into the mandalas tonight, continuing on one while starting another for the Solstice. I'm running a bit behind, true, but I plan on finishing by the end of the week, so I'll be timely enough.

Let the Red River rafting begin! 

Day 229: on a less busy day than planned

I went with Himself to the VA Medical Center to his Neurology appointment. They redid his headache medication because of the Cardiac medication he is now on. Traffic was heavy on the way home, but nowhere as heavy as it's going to be tomorrow with the start of the Memorial Day weekend.

As we were coming home, the emotional tide that had been building over the past few days finally crashed in, big time. Yup, I'm in the Moontime, and my heating pad and dark chocolate are my BFF's right now. On top of that, I might be getting a cold, because Himself has had some "sinus challenges" of his own the past few days. Cooties, the gift that keeps on giving! (Grr grr grr.)

Fortunately, there isn't a whole lot on the schedule tomorrow, so I'm going to lay low. I might lay low all the way through the Holiday weekend. To Be Determined...

Day 199: on curling tight in the shell

I was pretty well useless today. The new dishwasher finally arrived and was installed. I managed to get some of the dishes out of the way, but that was about it. I have a new best friend in a little heating pad that helped my wombspace unclench. All I wanted was to be Left Alone by Everyone. It's been a while since I've felt this introverted and flat out BLAH.

Himself stepped up once again, keeping an eye on the installation process, then running the new dishwasher twice to clean up the dirty dishes. He even put the first load of dishes away. Of course, I will rearrange all of the dishes he put away, because Virgo Moons like things arranged Just So. ;)

Today has been a day of Instagram Cats and naps. Tomorrow might follow suit. I'm actively bleeding right now, and not feeling particularly perky or sociable at the moment.

Day 198: on a red moon rising

My Moonflow is starting a week earlier than I expected, part of the fun of Peri-Menopause, so this will be a bit shorter than I had planned.

Happy to have made it to our support group. Managed to get some evening business done. Things felt a bit Heavy at times today, but that was explained when I found the early Flow.

I am feeling very tired and about ready for bed. What will get done will get done over the next few days, and the rest will just have to abide.

Day 175: on a friday that capped off a wild week

I'm glad I made it to today.

I had to remind myself that I didn't need to make any phone calls this morning. Instead, I was able to focus on Tea and Morning Pages, then Dear Abby and the funnies over breakfast. Then I took a shower and geared myself up to go with Himself to his vascular study appointment this afternoon. He was hoping for a little extra support, and as I was simply along for the ride, no problem.

The vascular study was, as I had suspected, an ultrasound. I didn't see any blood clots in Himself's veins, and neither did the technician. I'm a bit surprised that she shared that with us, as they usually don't want to say anything before the "actual" doctor reads the results. At any rate, this narrows Himself's mystery pain down to two things: either something about his skin (not likely, as there's no rash or other discoloration on where he says it hurts), or his nerves (way more likely). His next pain clinic appointment is in April, and he has a Neurology appointment in May. Between the two of them, something might get figured out.

Before we went to the VA Medical Center, we took a moment to celebrate the Queen Mother's birthday. She "opened" her bestie's present (it was all in a bag), and pulled out: two kitchen towels with owls on them, a small scented hand sanitizer, a box of M&M's, a box of Reese's Pieces, some LED light bulbs for the dining room (which will come in handy when the ones we have now start to go out), and a stuffed bunny doll. The Queen Mother and her bestie have exchanged birthday presents for years and years, just fun little things, and kitchen towels because they're relatively cheap. Mom was happy.

Thanks to a bit of Himself's magic, and some timely Travel Pay, we were able to fulfill the Queen Mother's birthday wish - fried chicken breast. We didn't get it to her in time for dinner, but she will be able to enjoy it over the weekend. ("Travel Pay" is what the VA pays himself as a mileage reimbursement, one way, between the various VA offices and our home.)

We went to the synagogue afterwards for Shabbat services, which we were going to do last week, but plans changed. We will be attending, and most likely helping out with, Passover services next month. We're blocking this out now in our calendars.

If I feel anything tomorrow like I do today, I don't know if I'm going to be any good for any sort of Doing. I can safely say I feel mentally fried, and am really not wanting to do anything except sleep, thanks to the arrival of my Moonflow. I just might go ahead and let my body take the lead, and worry about all the things later. I don't have any immediate fires to put out this weekend.

With that, I'm going to sign off for the evening. We'll see if I feel any better tomorrow. At least it's supposed to warm up and feel very nice. 

Day 149: on crawling foward

I didn't make it to our usual Sunday support group, though Himself did. Between being in the middle of my Moonflow and having a gnarly tension headache, I did the bare minimum today. My usual tea did help dissipate the headache, but I had to wait out the Depression that had also come along to visit. I'm still smarting a bit from all of the drama llamas running around yesterday, and have made up my mind to wait at least until Mercury is no longer retrograde before I even think about returning to Social Media, which will be in early April sometime.

I managed to rouse myself enough today to step out and get some cat food, and I also had Himself get some more yogurt for the Queen Mother. Help is on the way and we should receive all of it in the next few days.

Tomorrow our IHSS social worker will be paying a visit to see how the Queen Mother is doing. As she is still handling the basics of feeding, dressing, and toileting herself, I don't anticipate an increase in hours for her. As long as she still qualifies, that will  be just fine. Both Himself and I will see if we can make an effort in tidying up the house a bit before she comes, and there will most likely be a nap afterwards.

I will be okay. There are some months when it's very challenging to keep my head above water while I bleed freely...