Day 330: on a better day

Today was a day to sleep in after yesterday ended the week with a bang.

Yesttrday, Himself had a pair of visits to make in the VA medical system: the Pharmacy in La Jolla first, to pick up a prescription, then his Primary doctor's office in Mission Valley. It was the second visit that threw everything off, as the people in the front failed to notify the doctor in the back that we were there, even though we let them know that we were waiting several times, and it was about an hour before we were actually seen. Then his actual appointment lasted another 45 minutes or so! Fortunately, he wasn't as sick as he thought he might have been - which is to say, not at all.

It was about 4:15 pm when I finally dropped him off at the Alano Club for his shift, and I still had to head back home to get the Queen Mother's dinner ready. I got smart and took an alternate route home to bypass most of the commuting traffic, but I had a bit of an adventure getting to said alternate route. Let's just say I'm super grateful that there's an anti-collision system in the car!

I got home in about an hour, all told, and got the Queen Mother her dinner. Then I thought I would be nice and have dinner with her, only to be regaled with her latest obsession: how the cats are "suffering" now that they are "indoor only." The only thing that stopped her was turning on the TV for the news, which gave me the excuse to leave the table, as I don't indulge in that drama these days. After I was done with dinner, I had a nap, and eventually gathered my energy together to make the drive down back to San Diego to pick Himself up at the end of his shift. We wound up getting home just in time for me to help the Queen Mother into bed.

Today was much better. We all slept in, and deservedly so. When Himself and I  finally left the house, we got some recycling cashed in, a few more necessities purchased, and a bill or two paid before the banks closed for Labor Day. We came home in time for me to get the Queen Mother's dinner ready, then I went with Himself to his usual Saturday meeting. We went out to eat afterwards at our favorite Greek restaurant, and finished up in time for the "Sky Show," a big fireworks display one of our radio stations puts on each year for the Labor Day Weekend. It was an awesome show, and a soundtrack that brought back memories if you listened along on the radio station. We caught most of the display before we returned home.

Tomorrow Himself has a business meeting or two to attend in the morning, so I will be staying home and doing some more Huswifery. It will be a nice change of pace after a few days of being the Social Butterfly. Balancing these two modes of activity - Staying In and Going Out - will be the key for me to preserve my Sanity as I move forward.

Day 329: on the road home

Himself is driving us home. I will just say now that I'm glad that this day is just about over. Will go more in depth tomorrow. 

Here's to the unofficial end of Summer.

Day 328: on socializing and floating

Himself and I made it to the luncheon in plenty of time to find parking and settle in. There were about a dozen of us in total; some familiar faces, many new ones. We ate at the Olive Garden in Carlsbad. I tried their new Creamy Mushroom Ravioli, which was mighty tasty. Himself had their Lasagna, but we're not sure if it completely agreed with him.

We had to do a spot of grocery shopping before returning home, so I stopped in at both Trader Joe's (and enjoyed the Samples of the Day), and Major Market (in the same complex). At the latter store I got some cucumber sushi and seaweed salad, something I haven't done in a long time. The sushi and salad were my dinner for tonight.

It has been a bit more than a week since the "gift" from the Veteran's Adminstration, and I am very much feeling the difference. Before, I was very much in the depths: it was dark, I could barely see beyond my nose at times, and the pressure was so intense, there were times I thought the life would be squeezed out of me. If I was able to wash my hair on a given day, I felt like I had accomplished a lot. If I could get the trash out of the house on another day, it felt like a Big Deal. Some days I felt lucky if I could move forward by only fractions of inches.

Then the bonds that tied me to the weights broke, and I zoomed up to the surface. Now I can see far in every direction, and everything looks vibrant. Now I can move freely, and go far with only a little (comparative) effort. I will admit, that I've felt more like floating than actively moving these past few days, but I like to think I'm getting my bearings and feeling what it's like to live with a sense of "normalcy" again. I have told myself to wait and see what happens come the new moon, which is tomorrow, and then choose a direction to strike out in.

Genuinely looking forward to seeing what tomorrow brings, for the first time in a while. :)

Day 327: on venturing out once more

Today flowed nicely, and I am grateful for that. :)

I managed to accompany Himself to his latest Cardiac session, and finally got an opportunity to move my muscles. Needed to make a few adjustments since I'm a bit out of practice, but I felt like I had accomplished good things when I was done. I walked on the fancy treadmill at the end of my session, and was entertained by watching a video of walking on the beach. I'll take this option over plain old TV any day of the week.

We had enough time between the session and Himself's appointment at the Pain Clinic to get some lunch. He got a chicken sandwich; I got a black bean burger with all the fixings and some salt-and-vinegar chips to go with it. I love salt-and-vinegar chips. They might not be number one all the time, but they're definitely in my top three.

Then it was a (roughly) five minute drive from Scripps La Jolla to the VA Medical Center, where we totally lucked out in finding a parking spot at the front of the facility. The disabled license plates do come in handy sometimes. It was a new physician Himself spoke with today, so there was a little more review than usual of Himself's previous medical visit. In the end, we're going to see if we can't get the VA to pay for some more chiropractic sessions, probably get a bit more physical therapy for Himself's shoulder, and see about free Yoga for Veterans. That would be nice.

We got home in a reasonable time this afternoon, and I prepared the Queen Mother's dinner as usual, then went and laid down to rest my back (speaking of chiropractic visits, I need to schedule a few for myself). When I was finally ready for dinner, I was content to have a nice big salad, mixing in some baby greens and mushrooms to the remains of a veggie antipasto salad Himself had brought home for me a few days ago. It was all very tasty.

Tomorrow I will be going with Himself to a social luncheon tomorrow to meet with friends. I am getting back into circulation and it feels lovely. :)

Day 326: on picking and choosing

I still have a list of items of huswifery to do, but many items on the list have been checked off. Today was less of a push-to-get-it-done day, and more of a do-what-strikes-my-fancy day. My lower back appreciated the slower pace.

We tried the new fancy water stand today, testing out the hot water portion. Himself and I agree that it's fabulous, and will make it much easier to do Tea and Morning Pages on a regular basis. (Yes, sometimes I skip this ritual because I don't think I have enough time to do it in the mornings!) True to form, the Queen Mother didn't like the new stand, claiming the hot water for her tea wasn't hot enough (?!) So she will stick with her routine and we will shift ours, just a little. 

Since it was majority rules, we took the old jug and stand back to Palomar Water's main office. When I received their bill earlier this month, I discovered we were actually "renting" the jug for $5 per month! As we no longer need to have the jug, why continue to pay for it? We won't be paying a monthly charge for our new stand, so that's a savings right there.

I continued to putter about in the kitchen: emptying out the dishwasher, cleaning up spoons we use exclusively for cat food, sweeping the kitchen floor. Minor things on the surface, but when one has suffered for months on end with near-debilitating Depression, as I have, these "minor things" build upon themselves, to end up (hopefully sooner than later) with a clean-ish house. I want to keep the momentum going now!

I rounded out the doings of the day with changing out a light bulb in the Queen Mother's bathroom. SDG&E gave us a whole bunch of the fancy fluorescent light bulbs once upon a time; they might be great for the electric bill, but they're horrible for the environment, because they leave traces of mercury behind when they're done. Word to the wise: don't use these kind of bulbs in any lamp or light fixture with a dimmer switch. They don't like the fluctuating energy levels and will burn out very quickly, as I found when I was trying to find a light bulb that would light up! (Use LED bulbs instead. They can handle the fluctuations and last almost forever.)

Tomorrow my focus shifts outward as Himself makes another attempt to make it to the Cardiac Rehab center, and I make another attempt to go with him. He has an appointment with the VA Pain Clinic for a follow up afterwards, so I will have an opportunity to go frolic in Jaguar Weather. I'm debating right now whether or not to try for the beach this weekend. On the one hand, we will have the resources to cover a trip; on the other, it will be Labor Day Weekend, so there will be traffic and crowds. Ugh. Choices, choices...

Day 325: on fitting things in

Himself had the idea to take our old water jugs back to Palomar Water and switch them out for a pair of full ones. When we got to the office, there were a couple of refurbished models on sale for decent prices, cash only. Himself paid $30 to upgrade us to a hot-and-cold water dispenser. True to their advertising, the hot water was hot and the cold water was cold. I thought briefly about returning my Groovy Teapot, but both Himself and the Queen Mother said I should keep it, so I will. Besides, I owe y'all a picture of it at least. 

As we were leaving for Palomar Water, Inkblot tried to sneak out of the house. I caught him and put him back inside before he had gotten too far, but because he was showing interest, I put his harness on him and took him outside after we got back. He sat for a long time in the shade, then abruptly stood up and began to walk to the left. I let him lead me around, so he wound up taking me for a walk to the other side of the complex. He ate some grass, then looked like he was starting to eye the back fence to see if he could jump it. 

I turned him around and took him home, carrying him half of the time, and walking with him half the time. I knew it was time for us to go home because he was starting to pant. (Yep, it was hot.) I gave him some water and treats when we finally returned, and he spent a lot of time resting on the cool tiles of the kitchen and bathroom floors. From what the Queen Mother told me, it looks like one of our next purchases will be for Pippa, as she seems to have gotten over whatever spooked her and is now interested in Going Outside once more. 

Once I had rested and had dinner, I moved to gather up the trash. All of our bins are now empty, and what hasn't gone to the complex dumpster already is waiting in the green wheeled bin in our patio, which we cart over to the main dumpster when it's full. I was happy to get that done in slightly cooler weather, before sunset. 

Tomorrow may or may not be an early day; we shall see what happens.

Day 324: on being accommodating

The Queen Mother was complaining this morning that her itchy red spots were getting worse, not better. Since we haven't changed shampoo, hand soap, dish soap, laundry soap, or anything along those lines, I looked the one thing that had changed: Inkblot choosing her bed as one of his new "favorite spots." So when we got back home, I washed her sheets and blankets, our sheets and blankets, sprayed her bed (with a spray that happens to target fleas), changed out her linens, and treated the cats for fleas as well. (Pippa hates me at the moment; Inkblot forgave me when I offered him some treats.) I shall see if this helps her itching issues; if not, we might have to revisit Urgent Care and/or her doctor's office.

Before the additional huswifery, Himself and I made it to our Sunday Support group, where we happily shared the news of our good fortune. One of the members brought some books to give away, and I took three of them, one non-fiction and two fiction. Neither of the fiction books is Science-Fiction, so I'm going to be broadening my horizons a little. One looks to be a rom-com along the lines of Crazy Rich Asians, the other a story of how a woman put her life back together post-divorce. I'll update everyone on how the reads go.

On our way home, we stopped at Walmart so I could get myself something I have been wanting for some time: a new teapot. I had an electric one for a long time, until late last year when it was invaded by ants. (I wonder sometimes if our condo wasn't built atop an anthill!) They got into the circuitry part of the kettle, so I had to throw it out. I have been making do with a smail sauce pot, but I would often have to wash it out before brewing my tea. Now I have an actual teapot dedicated to nothing but water for tea! It has been treated to produce lovely rainbow style colors on the outside, so I'm calling it my "Groovy Teapot." I'll see if my phone cooperates enough to take a picture of it so I can share it here tomorrow.

I arrive at the end of another day tired but very satisfied. I still have my Master Huswifery list, and there are things still to be checked off of it. I continue to work my way down it. :)

Day 323: on diving in

Today was a good day for huswifery. :)

I got the laundry done, dried, and put away. The dishwasher is taking care of our dishes as I type. I helped Himself with recycling, and finally got the glass bin in our patio emptied out. I took a couple of bags of our miscellaneous recycling out to the bins closest to our unit in the complex; they were mostly empty, which was very good. Sometimes the weekends are when they fill up the fastest. I also got very brave and tackled cleaning out the Queen Mother's commode. It's going to be a multi-day project, but even there I made some headway.

Himself and I also paid a visit to Target while the laundry was being washed. I needed to make an exchange of items first. I had asked Himself to grab some things from Target yesterday, and he got some dish soap when I had asked him for dishwasher detergent. They are two different things, and I really didn't want a foamy mess coming out of the dishwasher midway through its cycle. I showed him the difference in the store. I also found what looked like the last spray bottle in the store. Now that I have it, the ants had better run for their little lives! (The last one broke while I was using it, and I didn't have a replacement immediately handy.)

The Queen Mother herself continues to micromove her way through the days. She can be rather grumpy when she first wakes up, especially if her nausea is present. She has taken mid-day naps, which sometimes help, and sometimes don't. Once she has dinner, though, I see signs of improvement, and she seems to be better in the evenings. I continue to play it by ear.

Tomorrow will feature more Huswifery, for there is still recycling that needs to be carried back into the patio, and trash to be gathered and carted away. Himself and I are also going to attend our Sunday Support group, provided the Queen Mother isn't feeling too blah in the morning...

Day 322: on arriving at a pivot point

Stayed home again this evening, as the Queen Mother woke up nauseous and in a foul mood this morning. Her mood improved after I cleaned up in the kitchen, but the nausea lingered. I have a feeling that my ability to get out of the house for long stretches of time is going to be compromised, unless and until I can find someone to come and keep an eye on her. I will be getting in touch with my agent at the Southern California Resource Center to explore my options. My best guess is that her gallstones are not behaving and are causing her discomfort. Question is, would surgery at the age of 77 be worth it?

Another thing to think about is whether or not she could receive an injection for her osteoporosis. Her doctor's office called today and presented this option. If I recall correctly, she would only have to receive the injection twice a year, and it would be better than taking pills. I will be looking into this over the weekend and discussing this with mom to see what she wants to do. 

Tomorrow will be a deep dive into Huswifery, as I shake off some of the lethargy I've been inching my way through and bringing some much needed order to the bits of chaos around the house!

Day 321: on remembering "the rest of the story"

Today I was reminded of what had not changed: the cats will still snub food that I put down for them. The Queen Mother will tell me what's on her mind, good bad and indifferent, before she forgets it entirely. Himself will be called in on an "emergency basis" because someone flaked on their shift at the Alano Club. The "outside world" will once again seem to lose its collective mind. I will wind up feeling just enough out of sorts that macaroni & cheese for dinner sounds like a really good idea. Oh yes - and the ants are still refusing to cooperate with me. 

At least I can begin to look forward to a well-deserved vacation: Seattle, WA, early November. Goddess willing we won't be derailed this time! 

Day 320: on another plot twist

While I was with the Queen Mother in Urgent Care yesterday, Himself called me, quite excited. I had to call him back, and of course, my phone promptly died, so I had to wait until we all got back in the car together. It seems the VA threw him a bone, and put some money into his bank account early yesterday. They also finally acknowledged the carpal tunnel in his left hand and upped his service connection.

This is why we could be found today down in San Diego paying our significant bills, you know, for things like property taxes. We also had to mail his DC attorney their share of the money, unfortunately, but for the first time in a long while, I feel like I can take a full deep breath, even in the middle of my Moontime.

The VA administrators hope he will be satisfied with this and quit fighting. There are, however, several issues still to be resolved:

1) They acknowledged the carpal-tunnel, true; but he is Left-Handed, and the carpal tunnel is worse in his Left Hand, but he still has a greater rating in his Right Hand.

2) They gave him back pay to 2015; he has records indicating carpal tunnel in both hands all the way back to 1993. That's 22 years' worth of back pay, folks!

3) With all of the ratings for his various maladies, he should be at 100%, not 90%. He wants the actuarial math to be reviewed. Getting to 100% service connection gives him some additional perks, besides a larger pension - free dental through the VA, forgiveness of his student loans, and the ability to get me insurance. 

Himself talked to his attorney and both are in agreement: this windfall is nice, but it's only a bone. We will be pressing on.

In the meantime, his personal injury attorney is getting together the materials for the demand letter for compensation for the auto accident he was in last July. Once that money comes in, we just might have the last steps in place to make it to the finish line in this part of the Odyssey. 

It's not the post I really wanted to make, but it feels damn good to have bills PAID, and have a little bit left over. :)

Day 319: on a plot twist

The Queen Mother does not want to leave the house unless she absolutely has to. When she came up to me and asked to visit Urgent Care, I knew it was something significant for her. Yes, I was a bit cranky about it at first, but between breakfast and showering, I got over myself, and we got her over to urgent care.

You see, she had developed these red spots on her hands, after developing one her upper arm, and before developing one on the side of her neck. She was examined and pronounced Shingle Free, at least. The official diagnosis was "contact dermatitis," which means her skin didn't like something she had touched. We are thinking perhaps a combination of too much Icy Hot cream (which she spreads liberally upon her one knee that complains all of the time) and a flea bite or two, which means it's time to re-up the flea treatment for the cats.

We got a prescription called in to the pharmacy to be picked up, where the darkly amusing part comes in: if I had picked up the combination anti-itch cream as originally prescribed, her insurance would not have covered it; when I agreed to pick up the two uncombined, separate anti-itch creams, her insurance covered them both. This is Government Logic in action! Go figure...

The Queen Mother is not completely cured this evening, but she is at least well on her way to being itch-free, and the redness has all but disappeared. Looks like we'll be keeping the follow up appointment with her doctor after all, even after I had dropped off the letter she had written explaining why she wasn't going to take her Fosamax. All's Well That Ends Well, as the Bard says.

Busy tomorrow, but I'm not unhappy at all. More to Be Revealed - !

Day 318: on those small steps

Oh yes I'm bleeding at full throttle now, and it's time to be as still as I can be.

There was one Needful Thing that had to be done, and that was changing out the litter in the cats' litter box. When Himself, whose sense of smell is not the best, is wanting to burn sage by the litter box, yah that's a sign. I managed to take the box outside and change out the litter with no fuss at all, as the cats had chosen to siesta in the Queen Mother's room. I shut the door to her room and went about my business out in the patio, soaking up a bit of the "August Roast" heat as I did so.

I kept things as simple and open as I possibly could, which was easier at some times than others, especially if the Queen Mother was needing something.

My lower back feels much better today, so I think I caught myself before it had a chance to go out entirely. I will continue to wear a heel lift at least through my Moontime, perhaps longer than that.

I have no idea what tomorrow will bring, and I am fine with that, as my ambition is taking a breather.

Day 317: on stepping through the (emo) storm

I wasn't up to doing much of anything today, though I did manage to straighten up the Queen Mother's bed, mainly because she would stop by and bring it up every few minutes. She also remembered all by herself to write her letter to the doctor, taking much of yesterday and today to "think it over." I'm impressed with her remembering because it shows me that there are still parts of her mind that work, even if they're the parts that like to obsess over little details. Still, I have her letter now and will be dropping it off at the doctor's office next week sometime, per her wishes.

It might be a bit before I get up and going, though, for there will be the bleeding this week. I had a good long write about everything in the Morning Pages, which I was able to get back in to for the first time in a few days. Guess what - I didn't feel as cranky after I had finished. My best option to preserve my sanity is to remember the principle of Going Small: doing just what needs to be done on any given day, and dividing my Resting time into "bite sized pieces" so I can conserve my energy when I'm not doing anything in particular.

The Resting part might be a bit more emphasized than initially intended this week: in addition to my Moontime, I also felt the muscles above my left hip starting to seize up today. This has progressed to feeling that my lower back is waiting for an excuse to go out again. Between resting and wearing my heel lift when I'm walking around, I think I caught it so that my back won't go out. I just have to be a bit more careful for the next few days about moving around.

I don't know what, if anything, I will be able to get done this week. We shall see...

Day 316: on stepping slower

Now that I know that the Moonflow is about to begin, I can slow down without feeling guilty. I got the important things out of the way, like getting cat food and a water refill and the Queen Mother's new prescription for Fosamax. Then I was able to come home and indulge in some extended napping.

The Queen Mother then read the information sheet included with the Fosamax, and decided she wasn't going to take it, mainly 1) because it involves sitting up for 30 minutes after taking it, and that would hurt her back big time, and 2) because she's trying to avoid the side effects it specifically mentions, like constipation and nausea. She intends to write a letter tomorrow to the doctor explaining all of this; doubtless I will need to remind her of this. 

I will see what I'm up to doing tomorrow. 

Day 315: on stepping back in

Yesterday did not start off the best and didn't get significantly better, and it was mainly a self-inflicted reaction to muffed expectations and mis-steps blown way out of proportion. Based on what I noticed after I got home this evening, yesterday's meltdown was also a big marker of Pre-Menstrual Sensitivity, so at least I'm not yet ready for an extended stay at the Psych Ward.

We got the Queen Mother to her appointment yesterday just before the 15 minute cutoff for tardiness. If we had been one minute later, we would have had to reschedule. Besides the gallstones, it was revealed that she has osteoporosis in her hips, so if she falls, that's what is most at risk. Her spine, on the other hand, is still reasonably strong, even if she says it hurts like hell. She is going on Fosamax and we are also going to see if we can find her a petite "donut" cushion for what cushion she has left on her backside.

Once she got home yesterday, she said she felt a bit off, which progressed to feeling "way off" by this morning. My best guess at this moment is that all the stress and effort it takes to leave home and then return again causes a gallstone attack, which she then needs some time to recover from. She seems to have recovered from it by the time we came home this evening, and in fact is staying up a little later than usual to watch one of her favorite shows, NCIS Los Angeles. I am keeping this tendency towards gallstone attacks in mind when booking future appointments for her.

Against the earlier backdrop of uncertainty around the Queen Mother, though, I needed first to drop Himself up for his shift behind the coffee bar at the Alano Club, then return home to make sure mom was okay, then come back down to head up my meeting (as there would not have been anyone else available to do it), and finally pick Himself up from the Club and return home. Today was not as stressful as yesterday was, but the ambiguity present kept me on my toes and on a bit of an edge. 

With all of the minor mishaps and "near misses" of yesterday, I finally declared myself Done and promptly had a full blown meltdown. Besides the aforementioned PMS, I had to admit that I was feeling Really Super Tired, all the way in to my bones. What I need is rest, but outside of my days of bleeding, it doesn't look like I'm going to find it anytime soon. At least those days are actually closer to unfolding than I first thought!

At any rate, I am feeling better now, as I am home, the Queen Mother is feeling much better as well, and we are all resting, even the cats. Tomorrow will be a new, easier and more casual day, and perhaps one where I can find a solution to those pesky ants!

Day 314: on mis-stepping

I will update everyone tomorrow. Tonight the words are not wanting to play. I am a hot mess in the Dumpster Fire that is my life right now.

Day 313: on needing more stepping

First, the Important Development: Himself had a vascular study done on his legs today, and it was confirmed that he DOES have something wonky in his right leg; a partially clogged femoral artery, in fact. I knew something was amiss when I looked at the monitor and saw the blood pressure in the right leg was much lower than it was in the left leg, the irony of that being that it was his left leg that was rather crunched in a bicycle accident in 2008 (he lost an argument with a car). There are surgical options, but he was advised that surgery was really not necessary at this moment. The best thing he could do was more walking, in fact, so we're going to figure out what the best way to accomplish this would be.

We got to the VA Medical Center an hour after we initially expected to, because we needed to fit in a shower for the Queen Mother. Her big appointment is tomorrow, where we sit down and go over ALL of her test results, and figure out what, if anything, we need to do next. We got most everything checked off at the VA today, save for a question about how best to treat Himself's weather-impacted sinuses with his heart issues. The Cardiac receptionist was not exactly cooperative, so Himself sent them a message directly. For the record, he will also be seeing his Primary doctor next week.

The other big thing today was my attitude: I got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, hit the reset button a few times, but always seemed to circle back to the growly-snappy state - and for the record, yes, the full moon is tomorrow. To bypass a bunch of whining and complaining: I realized I'm (once again) feeling "stuck and powerless," unable to move forward while I lack any sort of discretionary income to help me unstick myself. Back to the first steps again, I suppose...

After the Queen Mother's appointment tomorrow, I am intending to work out with Himself and take in a caregiver support group. Goddess grant me these things!  

Day 312: on stepping it up

I got myself going and got the laundry in the washer just in time for Himself and I to drive down to Jewish Family Service in San Diego. Today was a 2-for-1, as I told the receptionist: not only were we going to visit the food pantry, but I was also going to speak with the coordinator for their Alzheimer's Disease Initiative. As far as we know, the Queen Mother does not have Alzheimer's, but their doors are open for other species of dementia as well, and she definitely qualifies there.

My goal was to get a fresh set of eyes to look at everything I had done, and had not been able to do, at this point. The Coordinator was very friendly and enthusiastic, and by the time we were finished with our brainstorming, I was satisfied in what I had been able to do thus far, and I also had a decent game plan for the next steps.

Then it was a visit to the Pantry, which was a bit picked over by the time we got there, but I was still able to find some treasures, and Himself got some chocolate macaroons for me. Though he can't eat them anymore, I still can. We will be scheduling our final run for the year (if not permanently) for November. 

Even with a bit of traffic to contend with, and even with a stop to pick up a few necessities at Trader Joe's, we got home right around 4pm today. The only problem was that Himself was going to have to do a quick turnaround if he wanted to get to his scheduled Club Board meeting at 6pm. We ran out of time to make an official run to the laundromat to dry the clothes, so I went old school and hung everything up. The amazing part is that everything is almost dry, so we should be okay come the morning. 

Tomorrow the appointments become medical in nature, with Himself going first. There is a decent gap between his appointments, so we'll see about filling that gap. :)  

Day 311: on stepping out, a little

The day started reasonably well, but slowed down a bit with Himself's sinus attack, which threatened to become a migrane. With an increase in heat and humidity, he gets miserable as his sinuses start to hurt. They got very badly screwed up in 2008 after a gnarly accident where he was hit by a car while on his bicycle; in some respects he is lucky to be alive today. Anyway, this was one of those days where I had to break out an anti-migrane pill, which alleviated the pain and pressure enough for him to return to functionality. (The more effective anti-migrane pill had to be discontinued after his heart attack, but this one seems to be working okay.)

He recovered enough to get the recycling from the Alano Club taken over to our favorite place and turned in for a bit of gas money. By the time we got back, though, it was too late for me to go to his Cardiac session with him for my workout, as it would mean we wouldn't get back to the house before 5:30 if we were lucky. So he went down and I stayed home.

The Queen Mother complained once again about the cats being "indoor prisoners." She has admitted in the past that she is projecting some of her feelings onto the cats, who seem to be adapting better to the change than she is giving them credit for. For the record, I have offered to take the Queen Mother out of the house and go do fun things, but she always declines because "it's too painful." I try. 

At any rate, I grabbed Inkblot's harness and went outside with him. Twice. The first time, he basically sniffed the air before deciding to go back inside, but the second time, he warmed up to a little wandering around. Of course, I didn't have my shoes on for the second foray, so I had to watch where I stepped! I cut the trip short when it looked like he was wanting to jump over a fence, so I brought him back in. Both times he was rewarded with treats for being a Good Boy, and I gave Pippa some treats so she wouldn't get jealous. I did promise Inkblot that I would work on taking him on Outdoor Adventures more often.

Though plans changed today, we are good to go for tomorrow for sure.

Day 310: on feeling fine, finally!

Some long awaited reimbursement for travel to the Cardiac Rehab Center and back finally arrived in Himself's bank account, so we have a bit of breathing room. We took the opportunity to fill up the gas tank all the way and get an extra treat or two from the grocery.

We also made it back to our Sunday Support Group for the first time in a month, at least! I was happy to share some decent updates, and we received a gift of dry kibble for the cats. Several of the group members "own" cats, and one member's cat did not like this kibble. Since our cats already eat Fancy Feast, we were willing to give it a shot. 

The past few days have been filled with getting to know all about Guan Yin and Mother Mary, from sources both online (Wikipedia) and off (various books). I was inspired to retrieve a set of mala beads and am now "counting prayers" as I have been directed to do in one of my several visions. My project is bearing fruit in my Spirit, as my anxiety and stress levels have been dropping considerably in the past few days...that and being able to Relax at deeper levels than I've previously been able to. 

Tomorrow will kick off a full week, so I'm grateful for the opportunity to rest this weekend. :)

Day 309: on a summery saturday

With Himself down in San Diego, it was a good day to read, to write, to color, and to nap with the cats. It was also a good day to bring the trash can back in, load the dishwasher, and wipe down the counter tops. The Queen Mother put in her two cents, so we started going through her closet as well. I found some pairs of slippers she had forgotten she had, so she tried them on. These slippers will stay and those slippers can be given away. So it begins once more...

Looking in the closet, I see the boxes and boxes full of wrapping paper and ribbons and bows; along with the bags, we probably have enough materials right now to give a holiday and/or birthday present to everyone in San Diego county, at the very least! It comes from the family tradition of Saving the Wrapping Paper instead of ripping it to shreds when opening one's presents. Looks like I'll have that to co-sort through as well. Meaning: I'm going to be doing the "heavy lifting" and the Queen Mother will be giving her ayes and nays.

The one bad thing about being home by myself with the Queen Mother is her lack of short-term memory, particularly when she's obsessing over something, whether it's the part of the rug that needs vacuuming or the alleged mental health of the cats. I suspect she forgets that she made the same point ten minutes, half an hour, three hours before, and it comes off sounding like she's nagging or harping. I have to remind myself several times over, It's not her, it's her disease, and NOT to take it personally, Just for Today if nothing else! I'm still working on retraining my mind in that regard. 

Fun with food today as well: an egg sandwich for breakfast, veggie gyoza with ramen noodles and a salad for dinner. As Saturdays are my "easy" days, most of the time, schedule-wise, I don't feel rushed or pressured to whip up something quickly to eat. I actually have the opportunity to enjoy my meals, unless the Queen Mother has a bee in her bonnet. ;)

Planning on attending the Sunday Support Group with Himself tomorrow. We shall see what unfolds. 

Day 308: on a firmer friday

Even though I set the wrong alarm to get up this morning, the Queen Mother served as an excellent alarm clock, and we got her to her Bone Density appointment on time. There was some paperwork I had to (help her) fill out, and a couple of items had to be guessed at, because she could not remember the dates and I was not yet present in this lifetime to know the answer.

The biggest challenge was getting her up on the table for the examination. The tech was very helpful, but stepstools and beds down as far as they can go are still not "mother-sized." Not only is she more petite than the average bear, but the havoc wreaked on her knees and ankles by the osteoarthritis, the rickets, and so forth, make it more and more difficult for her to get up onto the stepstool-then-table and back down again. The time may come in the near future when she has to be lifted up and down; at any rate, today we managed and came home fairly quickly afterward. We will be discussing all of the tests with Dr. M. next week.

Once back home, later meals and extended naps became the order of the day. She was rather wiped out from her medical "adventure" out of the house, and I was happy to nap as well. After a few hours, I went to Rite Aid to get some glucosamine for her joints (and got a sweet deal: buy one get one for $1. Yes please!), a refill of our large water jug, and a quick trip to Trader Joe's for some ice cream, which I forgot yesterday. While out, I also ducked in to our local grocer for some fresh white vinegar.

This week we have been having some ant challenges, as they found the contents of the trash can particularly tasty. I was able to pull myself together enough to see what I could use for a non-toxic repellent - and white vinegar, in a 50/50 mix with water, fit the bill. I had to get some new vinegar to replace what we had to throw out after our "Fumigation Staycation" a couple of months ago. I got an unused spray bottle, mixed the water and vinegar, and went to town. So far so good. I also went out into our patio and cleaned up the mess I had made getting all of the ants out of our house. Not only do I have an ant repellent, the mix works well in cleaning countertops too! Bonus round. :)

The Queen Mother is fine right now; she's watching an episode of the rebooted Magnum PI at this moment. For the most part, I had a better today than I did yesterday, with just one gnarly Heavy episode that dissipated on its own. As tomorrow is going to be a stay-at-home venture, I'm looking forward to a bit of huswifery and a homemade egg sandwich for breakfast, along with some more Self-Care.

Day 307: on a touchy-feely thursday

It was one of those days where I felt like I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, and my usual tools helped for brief periods of time, but I still felt out of sorts most of the day.

If I'm going to be totally honest, I am having significant difficulty feeling compassion for the human race at this moment, and for that part of myself which is also human. It's a good synchronicity that I'm working with Kuan Yin, the Mother of Compassion, at this time. I will be taking this to my altar tonight: You feel the Compassion because I can't! and if You could help me find mine again, that would be awesome!

Maybe I'll have myself an Impossible Whopper tomorrow. They have arrived in San Diego and are a step up from Burger King's previous attempt at veggie burgers. Interestingly enough, I have been hungrier than usual all week. I have been advised that this is the physical body trying to "catch up" with the spiritual growth spurt I'm undergoing at this time. I don't feel particularly spiritual at the moment, but I will allow for that explanation to be just as true as any other.

Whatever else, tomorrow will require an early start to the day, as we need to get the Queen Mother over to Greybill Radiology by 10am for her bone density test. Never mind Serenity; Goddess grant me Patience!

Day 306: on a weeble-wobble wednesday

The Queen Mother was a little weebly today. She got up this morning "not feeling too good," in her words, then napped after breakfast. She pulled herself together enough for dinner, though. I think it was her gallstones acting up. I sat at the dinner table with her, a rare treat these days, and we conversed a bit as we ate. She's okay right now, watching episodes of Blue Bloods on one of the cable networks.

Himself was a little wobbly today. The heat hasn't been roaring this week, but the humidity was a little higher than usual, and his sinuses were telling him all about it. Nevertheless, he helped out by mopping up the kitchen floor, then going with me to Petco to grab a harness for Inkblot. The harness was $17, and a bag of bribery (Temptations tuna treats) was $2.

It was much easier than I expected to get the harness on Inkblot and fitted properly. He enjoyed being out, but did not like the restriction on his freedom. We will be easing back into "outside adventures" over the next few days, with plenty of treats for being a good boy.

My mental state was steady today. This is good.

Shopping and workout tomorrow - at least that's the plan.

Day 305: on a trending up tuesday

I will admit, I started the day with some "existential anxiety," a dread that wondered who is next? where next? what next? It was not the best scene in my head initially. I almost stayed home when Himself went to his Cardiac session, but I talked myself into it, and was glad I went. I had missed those endorphins and needed them today.

I have a routine: cross-trainer (works arms and legs,) arm bike, recumbent bike (I will use the regular stationary bike if the recumbent ones are all occupied), recumbent elliptical, finally treadmill. Tomorrow Himself is planning on going again, and hitting the weights this next time. I might join him in lifting and toning.

We were delayed by traffic in getting home, plus I needed to stop in at Trader Joes for some breakfast essentials. I started water for pasta first, then got the Queen Mother's dinner together, then returned to my own. Pasta tonight, bean burritos tomorrow. I indulged in a little extra chocolate for dessert, because my body said so.

The Queen Mother is making her way into her bedroom, so I will finish up here and wait for her to call for me so I can tuck her in. :) 

Day 304: on a manageable monday

I Got some bills paid, which always makes me feel good. Himself did some laundry, which makes him feel good. Treated myself to some frozen yogurt and sat outside, because that's how Jaguars thrive. Veggie gyoza that I fried and steamed myself + veggie ramen noodles = fun in my belly for dinner.

On the flip side, there were some very Heavy moments in the day that I had to breathe through. I was planning to stay home and let Himself go to his Cardiac session alone, until he realized he had a business meeting (not Alano Club oriented, for once!) that he needed to atttend. So it looks like I will be joining him tomorrow. I would like to get back in the exercise groove and keep my health momentum going! :)

I'm also going to see if I can get Inkblot's harness tomorrow. He's adjusting okay, but I know he misses his Outdoor Adventure time. 

Day 303: on a superb sunday

I made myself an egg sandwich for breakfast, then brought some much needed order to the chaos that is the recycling area. I changed out the litter in the cats' box, took some newspaper and cans outside into their bins, and took out the trash, along with a bag of old pill botttles, with their labels removed. I got a jump on the next load for the dishwasher and swept the kitchen floor. Dinner was some much needed comfort food: my mac and cheese with a salad, then some dark chocolate balls for dessert.

Besides paying bills tomorrow, I am going to do a bit of harness shopping. There have been coyote sightings in our complex this week, and something scared Pippa so badly last Monday that she hasn't been outside again since, and has only recently emerged from hiding in our closet! The harness is going to be for Inkblot, who is not a happy boy being "indoor only." He has the right temperament to be harness trained and to go on adventures. (I lost one little boy cat in 1998 to an outdoor tragedy, and I'm NOT going to lose another one.) I've been pricing harnesses online and I can get a decent one for between $15-$20, which is doable right now.

There was one final change of plans for the week: the Sunday evening person "forgot" they were supposed to have a shift at the Club this evening, so Himself found himself pinch hitting once more. He's back home and showering as I type.

Personally, I had a good day, even though some did not. I will be lighting my Peace Candle tonight and chanting some mantras for Kuan Yin.

Day 302: on just a little more flexibility

We finally have a new rear windshield on the car! The repair folks came to us this morning to replace it. The deductible was paid. All is well.

Most items of a practical matter that I had planned on doing were postponed until tomorrow. Instead, I focused on nurturing my spirit today.

That is all for now, as I am very tired and will be going to bed after the Queen Mother is tucked in for the night.

Day 301: on finishing as we started

The lessons of Flexibility kept coming today, and we are finishing as we started: shuffling around ye olde To-Do List to make room for the Actual Happenings of the day.

To wit: I calculated how much I would need to pay the bills that were not automatically paid out of our account. I went to the credit union and took out the necessary funds to pay these bills. I was not, however, able to pay them today, as we went for an oil change instead. What was going to be "quick and cheap" turned out to be not so quick nor so cheap, mainly because our air filters desperately needed replacing (and why had this been overlooked by the dealership in the past? Things that make you go "hmmm.") At least Himself was able to refund me when I paid for the oil and filter change, as he went to pay and suddenly found himself without a wallet. It turns out it was in his other pair of shorts at home.

We had just enough time to return home so I could prepare the Queen Mother's dinner before we were off to San Diego and the Alano Club, bypassing the worst of the Friday commute traffic as we went. Then Himself sprung for pizza and a salad once we were there, and I was happy. Don't tell anyone else this, but I was grateful for the respite. ;) After I ate, I tended to my meeting (as I am the de facto leader on the first Friday of every month), then went back to the Club to collect Himself.

I am home now, tired and ready to rest. Tomorrow will be a decent day as we are going to get that rear windshield finally replaced! We will see what else unfolds...

On *300* Days of Blogging!

Wow. I have reached the home stretch. Two more months (-ish) to go! When I began, I was only hoping I could reach this point. Now I am taking a moment to look at what I have accomplished in this space and am giving myself a wee pat on the back. :)

As for today: I returned to my Spiritual project. I went out and did some significant grocery shopping with Himself, as mom's Social Security money arrived. I paid some bills and figured out which other bills to pay tomorrow. I am coloring a new mandala to celebrate the start of the Harvest Season, Autumn.

We had to shift a few more plans around, namely when we could have someone come over to repair our rear windshield; yes, we found someone who could do a house call! Himself has already squirrled away the $250 for our deductible, and our insurance will pay the rest. I'm halfway expecting our rates to go up after this is all said and done, though...

I have returned to that wonderful calm and stable place. Things might not be that great, but they're not that horrible either. I'm looking forward to building on this momentum and perhaps even getting back to some decent Adulting next week.

Tomorrow I will be dropping Himself off at the Alano Club in the afternoon - for a planned shift, this time - and gifting myself with a small treat before heading over for my Friday meeting. The energy is shifting, and Just for Today, I am breathing much easier.