blogging when i don't feel like it ;)

Yesterday I said I would see everyone today, and of course, today I don't feel like blogging, because for the past few days I have been anti-social and anti-people. Part of it is being tired, part of it is trying to keep my energy strong and open when I'm not feeling that way, and part of it is unintentionally carrying around the baggage from everyone else. For this last part, I have a little trick I use: I ask, deliberately and sometimes aloud, "How much of what I'm feeling is Actually Mine?" I always feel lighter after about a minute or two and can usually ascribe a percentage to what has sloughed off. Today, a whopping 80% I was feeling was NOT mine! Such are the joys of being a Sensitive. :p

I also know a part is directed toward the Queen Mother. Mom can be trying on the best of days, and as her Dementia progresses, she can get quite obsessive over things that wouldn't have bothered her ten years ago. Today it was about the cats "not being allowed to go outside anymore." She freely admits that she is projecting her limitations upon them, and she considers the coyote sightings we have had around her the equivalent of Fake News. Nothing that I have said to her makes a difference. Tonight, Himself called at just the perfect time to leave the room, and it was time for the evening news when I got off the phone with him, so I turned on the tv and left her to watch the news as I went into the other room to eat my dinner in peace.

It was another double laundry day for Himself and myself, as we each washed a load and took our loads to the laundromat for drying. Inkblot did some of his up close and personal supervising again, this time waiting until I had almost loaded the washer completely before jumping in. Of course I took him out before I started the washer up. I think he rebalanced the washer tub after his sojourn in it, which is a good thing; the unbalanced tub jolted me awake this morning as it went into its spin-dry and sounded like a train about ready to go off the tracks!

I also posted what seems to be my most popular Inktober drawing to date: the "Coffee Zombie," who is drawn more to coffee than to brains. I felt like I had lost the spark last night when I attempted to draw a dog looking at a fly that had landed on its nose. I posted it even though I didn't want to, because I felt like it wasn't at all good, even for a doodle. Not everything is going to be a winner as I exercise my doodling muscles, though - and in truth, I was feeling a little rushed because it was after 11pm when I realized I hadn't drawn anything, and it had already been a long day. So yeah, dog-with-fly wasn't my best, and Coffee Zombie, which I had the idea of doing and the time to doodle it, felt much better.

We will be shopping for groceries tomorrow and getting ready for Yom Kippur, the famous Day of Atonement in the Judaic tradition. Not sure if I'm going to blog tomorrow or Wednesday, so watch this space...