Day 118: on a damp adventure day

It was another one of those mornings where, after I took care of the cats, I chose to stay up instead of going back to bed, as the alarm was going to go off in the next half-hour. So I started the water for my tea and enjoyed the Quiet, before the alarm went off and Himself got up. We needed to made it an early start to the day, because there was a bit of an adventure to be had.

We went down to La Jolla to a shopping mall that was a curious indoor/outdoor hybrid, one that we had visited many times, but had never explored in depth. Our destination was a door hidden between the large movie multiplex and a yoga studio, subtly marked as the "Community Room." Today, a group of men and women gathered as the Society of Addiction Professionals, which makes up the amusing acronym of SOAP. For both of us, this was a scouting mission, to see if we could add a couple of key pieces to the Recovery puzzle these folks are putting together. 

There were a pair of speakers today, sharing their experiences with their peers. I paid dutiful attention and made a couple of mental notes. When everyone was done, to my pleasant surprise, there was a spread of food that had appeared behind the rows of chairs, so folks were free to nosh and schmooze (eat and network) if they so chose. Of course, it was this part of the day that proved to be the most fruitful, as our presence was warmly welcomed. The food was good, but not quite enough, so Himself and I found our way up and out and adjourned to the Starbucks on the upper level. "Payday" had come for both of us, so we were able to enjoy some hot beverages, and I got a tomato & mozzarella panini which hit the spot. I enjoyed it in house as I watched the skies get darker and darker...

Our plan had been to get home before the rain began, but we didn't make it, as the skies opened up in earnest as we got on the freeway to go north. There was a sound and light show to accompany the rain; true to the forecast, this was a thunderstorm passing through. At one point, Himself made a pit stop while I stayed in the car and listened to the thunder and the rain. Marvelous, except that I had on the wrong shoes. Open-toed shoes are not the best to splash around in.

Before we got home, bills were paid, the gas tank was refilled, and Trader Joe's was visited. Once home, Himself and I took turns napping, though I don't think my nap was quite long enough. As nice as listening to the rain is from inside a car, it's even nicer listening to it from inside the house. It has stopped now, but is expected to return late tomorrow night and go through at least Saturday.

Despite not being quite prepared for the wet weather, I am satisfied with how the day unfolded. :) 

Day 117: on working through the day

A little more shifting around of schedules today, as we got a later start than expected...

Himself had a follow up appointment with his Neurologist today. We were making good time to the VA Medical Center until we got onto I-5 from the local bypass. There was a gnarly accident less than a mile ahead, and traffic was quickly coming to a standstill. Fortunately, we were able to take the first exit off of the freeway without too much fuss. Once we arrived at the VAMC, he got out of the car and I took the wheel to find parking. There seemed to be more folks than usual today, because parking was at a premium, even in the parking garage. I wound up parking on the roof of the garage, then made my way down and around to the side entrance. Himself had already gone back to see his doctor, but called for me to come back and be with him once I had texted that I was in the waiting area. The appointment itself was quick and painless.

Afterwards, we pooled our money together and wound up having just enough for me to get a personal-sized veggie pizza. (Food at the VAMC is at least half of the price you would pay anywhere else. You just have to be mindful of what you get.) He surprised me afterward by going to Torrey Pines State Beach, where he pulled out a ham sandwich that he had made at home, and we had a wee picnic by the Pacific. 

Before you ask: yes, he is Jewish, but ham is one of the few meats that actually agrees with him post-colon removal. There's some weird cosmic joke in that somewhere.

After our picnic, we beat most of the commuting traffic home, and arrived in plenty of time to fix dinner. Himself steamed some rice, and I took some of the rice and added white beans and corn to it, then added a simple salad to the dish. He added his rice to some sweet and sour chicken from Trader Joe's. Tomorrow, Himself is expecting to get paid, and we can do a bit more grocery shopping after we take care of a little bit of business.

It was a good day - yet there was some Heaviness that wanted to creep in around the edges. It was enough to throw me off of my game a little bit (but not horribly), and I was content to stay home for the rest of the day, after dinner. I did a little rearranging in the kitchen in the evening: looking over all of Himself's meds and gathering together what has expired. The VAMC in La Jolla has a blue box we can dump expired meds in, near their main entrance, so we'll be doing exactly that next trip. I prefer doing that rather than throwing anything in the trash, or worse, flushing anything down the toilet. I'm all for anything that will help dispose of medications in a responsible way.

I suspect the Heavies were acting as a sort of "spritual barometer," indicating a change in the weather ahead. We are expecting rain on three out of the next six days, and they are all going to cool off the temperatures significantly. I'm not looking foward to the rain, but I'll manage. I have managed so far. :)

Day 116: on a day suddenly opening up

I thought we were going to have an early day today, but Himself and I talked it over last night, and chose to sleep in a little. Sleeping in turned out to be even less of a deal than I thought. We had planned to attend an event, but I had written down the wrong date; it actually unfolds on Thursday instead of today. This led to both of us looking at our calendars and pretty well shifting the rest of the week around. When we were done, the only thing we had to do today was grocery shopping, and that was it.

I am grateful when I can get up and get moving at a leisurely pace, instead of having to be mindful of any appointments or other events. I am doubly grateful when a busy day suddenly empties out and swings wide open. I feel like I can breathe a little deeper and put down my burdens, even if just for one day.

I informed the Queen Mother of our change of plans, and she took advantage of the situation by taking a shower, and (as usual) kvetching about it for an hour or so afterwards. I figure there will come a time when I will have to get in the shower with her and do all of the work while she sits still, but that time is (fortunately) not Now.

Once the Queen Mother was clean and lotioned, I took my shower and got ready to go grocery shopping. I had to watch the prices very carefully, and get only necessities, but I came in below my allotted limit and took care of our immediate needs. I always feel satisfied when I can go in, get what is on the priority list, and not have to put anything back. Is it the willpower? Is it some successful Adulting? I would have to think on that to give you a definitive answer.

The cats were very happy that we came back with more food for them, and the Queen Mother was happy to have more ice cream. So a good trip all in all. ;)

Both Himself and I should be getting our monthly payments before the week is out, so I am not terribly worried about running out of anything. Today was a good day, another one I can add to the tally of good days vs. bad ones. I'm having more good days than bad now, so I call that Progress and grow even more content. :)

Day 115: on flipping the script

Shortly after I got up this morning, I checked the bank accounts and found that we had been overdrawn by a withdrawal of an automatic payment. This was not the way I wanted to start my day, especially my Monday, and I felt the Stinking Thinking wanting to take over and jump with me down the nearest rabbit hole. Instead, I called a conscious stop, brewed my cup of tea, and dove into my Morning Pages. I didn't come up with any miraculous solutions, but the act of writing helped to calm down and stay out of the rabbit holes.

After breakfast, I went to my credit union branch and explained my situation. I fully expected sympathy but no action; instead, I got sympathy and the reversal of not one, but two overdraft charges, leaving more money in my account than I had hoped for. I walked out pleasantly surprised and thinking that this might not be another horrid Monday after all...

I took care of some business on the computer, then made my phone calls. Almost all of them produced better than expected results: one place found where we were inadvertently being double-charged, and cancelled the charge that was no longer valid. Another place emailed me the forms I needed to fill out to get a hold of the Queen Mother's records. The one exception was to the Social Security office, so I could not make an appointment. It looks like the Queen Mother will have to visit in person, as a walk in, in order to get the information we need.

With all of my necessary items crossed off my to-do list for the day, I went into the kitchen and loaded dirty dishes into the dishwasher. I finished up after dessert had been eaten and started the dishwasher up. On top of everything else, I finished coloring my latest mandala.

So many days have started out crappy and gone downhill from there. Today was a flipping of the script - a bad start, but a good finish. Taking a few small breaks to stop and recenter helped immensely. :)

Day 114: on steeping in sisterhood

A bit of background: I have a good friend who runs a semi-formal circle, mainly for women and woman-oriented activities (though she offers some all gender activities as well) from a special studio she built on her property, and she lives about ten minutes away from me. She has been at it for 15 years and is going into her 16th year. She invited peeps to join her in an "envisioning ceremony" today, and several of us came together to discuss the future of this circle. She doesn't want it to die out when she does, down the line, so she wants to see how best we can carry it forward.

I have attended her rites and celebrations in the past. I co-created rituals with her for a year. I even trained under her to become an "official" Priestess. (I put official in quotes because I'm already a Priestess, but I wanted something in writing that I could show to anyone who asked.) So when she put the word out to consider what we could do to keep the magick going, of course I was going to be a Hell Yes! It was an opportunity to reconnect with friends I had lost touch with during some of the more challenging times over the past few years.

Originally, Himself was going to drop me off there and return home, but I double checked, and this wasn't a "woman-only" event. So I rang him up and invited him to come down. This time, he was the only man present, but I would not be surprised if other men came to join him in subsequent meetings, if only one or two others.

There was a delicious homemade quiche offered, along with a tasty salad, various fruits, and some yummy mint chocolate cookies. So we noshed and talked and brainstormed and opined...and it felt totally lovely to sink back in to the energy, which I have missed a lot. We came up with some good ideas and intriguing possibilities, and we all agreed to pursue this further. Personally, I took away some good energy in reconnecting with the energy and with my sisters, which I will need for this next week! 

I also intend to return next Sunday for the celebration of Imbolc, when we will gather to make Vision Boards. Yum! (Himself won't be attending that one.)

Day 113: on shifting my focus

I chose today to shift my focus away from the outside world and concentrate more on what was in front of me, at home. I had to get a business call out of the way first, and compose a to-do list for this aspect of my life for the next month.

Once I was finished, and breakfast was eaten, then I went to work in my "favorite" area of the house: the kitchen. I didn't get as much done as I had initially intended, but the bed linens got washed, the trash and some of the recycling got taken out, and I cleaned up the recycling area of the house. The dishes can abide till tomorrow. 

Inkblot "supervised" while I remade the Queen Mother's bed. I found one of the cats' little jingly balls under mom's dresser, so I fished it out and tossed it out in the hallway. Inkblot stared at the ball like he had no idea what to do with it, which is not true; he's just not as enthusiastic with playing with toy balls as much as his sister is. Sure enough, as I'm finishing up with the bed, Pippa started playing with the ball, if the jingling was any indication. Now they're both asleep on my bed, having taken full advantage of this sunny and warm Santa Ana day.

I had an early lunch and a late dinner, and am rather happy for the mental respite. Tomorrow I return my focus to the world outside my home, but in a good way: a meeting with friends to discuss pleasureable business. More to come on that... 

Day 112: on gathering more red tape

Today's information gathering excursion turned out to be a monumental waste of time. The Durable Power of Attorney that I have for the Queen Mother greases many wheels, but not all of them. I could not get the information I wanted from Social Security or the DMV, because they need to talk to the Queen Mother herself.

I can understand the reasoning why, because there are supremely dishonest people in the world, but when I'm just trying to validate basic information, and I'm told, "No, we need to speak with your mother personally," especially after the whirlwind week I've had, I was beyond frustrated. I couldn't even talk with her doctor's office, but that was because my phone kept cutting out while we were making our way home. :p

I'm trying to see if she was certified as Disabled before she began taking Social Security. I want to say she was, because I remember that she had disabled license plates on her car when I learned how to drive, back in 1998 (which is a story in itself; saving it for later), and she began to take Social Security when she opted for early retirement in 2004. Can I get anyone to agree with me? Not at the moment! (grrr...)

Somewhere along the line today, to provide a distraction for my short temper, either I dropped something on my foot or ran my foot into something, because the toenail on the second toe of my left foot looks more gnarly than usual, and feels horrid in a close-toed shoe. This toenail has been gnarly looking since college, nearly 20 years ago, but tonight it looks really bad, and seems to be about ready to fall off altogether. I'm keeping it in place for as long as I can, because I really don't want to bleed all over the house, so I have a bandaid on that toe for the moment. We'll see what happens. (It looks and sounds nastier than it actually is, trust me!)

I'm going to shelve the Epic Medi-Cal Quest till Monday, because I am totally over it right now, and I'm going to focus on more pleasant things this weekend. Hopefully I will be able to score some sort of outdoor time, because there's a mild Santa Ana this weekend, and everything is warming up nicely, in between the rainstorms. Come Monday I should be recharged enough to mount back up and return to tilting at the windmills; that's what it's felt like at times!