It's silly to expect Himself to be "sacrificing" as much as I do in this Caregiving odyssey. He can help, and he does, but he also has his own life, and his own commitments in this life. To expect him to give everything up to help me is a mark of Insanity.
Come to think of it, it's also silly to say that I'm "sacrificing" myself in the name of Caregiving. Some of my boundaries need to be redrawn, yes. Some things that I enjoyed doing need to be picked up again, yes. To say that I am "ruined" or "broken," though, is another mark of Insanity.
When I looked over at the clock today, and it was just after noon, and I hadn't had breakfast or showered yet, I figured I wasn't going to the new Caregiver Support Group, as there were groceries to purchase, and money to purchase them with. I did my Tea and Morning Pages after helping the Queen Mother with her breakfast, and helping Himself with a bit of Pain Management, and hadn't realized where in the day I stood. Even if I had caught myself a bit earlier, I still might not have rushed.
I'm also recognizing that, at least right now, multitasking is right out, until I get my Respite Vacation in. On days where there are no appointments, I pick one thing I need to do, and then do that. Anything else that gets done on a given day is gravy. I'm criticizing myself less and understanding myself more.
Per Himself's VA attorney, the case hasn't been filed quite yet, but they have until the 15th to file it. While I appreciate their thoroughness in reviewing all the details of the case, there a part of me that just wishes they would hurry up and file already! So here we sit, waiting for the right time to start scaling the summit of the mountain.
Another "empty day" tomorrow, so I will peruse my options, choose one, and take action.
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