Friday, March 22, 2019

Day 168: on feeling "on the edge"

Today I realized just how close I am to losing it completely...

My paycheck did NOT show up in my account today. I wasn't sure what to do about cat food. Himself pointed out that we had a ton of his water bottles to recycle, so why not take them to be recycled? (He likes the flavored fizzy water you can pick up at any grocery store. Hey, at least he drinks them!) So after Tea, Morning Pages, and breakfast, we loaded up the car and took the bottles and empty cat food cans over to our local recycling place. We got enough money from that to get enough cat food for the weekend, plus some of Himself's denture glue.

After we finished the recycling and shopping, we came home. I realized my nerves were completely shot, and that this had been building throughout the week. I had more patience with the cats than I did with my humans today! 

Speaking of the cats, Inkblot finally got his Cone of Shame removed. The first thing he did was start grooming himself. He took a brief break to have an early lunch, which was a can of "people tuna," the first he'd ever had, I believe. (I have a small stash handy, for emergencies and/or special occasions.) He ate way more of it than Pippa did, yet still came back later in the day for more to eat! I would have thought I would have had "tuna coma" after his special meal, but I guess he was too excited to have his life restored to normal. ;)

I had a later lunch than the cats did: veggie tortilla soup, with the last of the rice from the rice cooker mixed in, and a salad. It settled my nerves a little, but not my tension headache. We changed our plans for this evening and went to our weekly meetings in San Diego. After the meeting, I finally started to feel like something other than a raw nerve. (I can feel absolutely horrid going in, yet be restored to a level of sanity when I come out.) It came to me to say that I had been experimenting with new levels of Powerlessness and Unmanageability, so my sense of humor is still intact at least.

I had to go to a second Walmart after the meeting to get a flavor of cat food that wasn't at the first one. Before I went, I found fifty cents in my meeting bag. Good thing, because after all was said and done, the total at checkout was six cents more than I originally had. So something went my way at the end of the day.

I will see if I can get some rest this weekend. There may be some juggling of plans, but I'll see what I can do. Maybe I need to fantasize about my "dream vacation" again.

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