So after writing down my frustrations and sorrows, I allowed things to percolate, and further insights arose...
I realized I have been projecting a lot of my frustrations about my life onto my mother. As a single mom for much of my childhood, she did her best to shield me from the world's unpleasantries, and did her best to stay independent, despite her physical challenges. My frustrations are mine to own and work through; perhaps I could have flown further from the home nest at times, but what would additional adventuring have brought me?
This leads to the second, and deeper, realization: I might be more sensitive than I care to admit. I was introduced to the harsher vagaries of the world when I entered junior high school, and it was a HUGE shock to my system. I renounced much of the popular culture I observed around me in the 8th grade and vowed to "go it alone" until such time as I felt differently...and I find myself repeating some of the same Vows of Renunciation more than thirty years later!
"Losing" my vacation has helped me look within and given me some prime Shadow material to work through - absolutely necessary if I'm going to complete this odyssey! So now I will allow these further insights to percolate, and go from there. In the meantime, I have a Toolbox of tips and techniques to look through to help with Life On the Daily.
One day at a time... :)
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