After I finished up yesterday's post, I returned to a project that has been ongoing for a while: decluttering the master bedroom in our home (where Himself and I sleep). One thing about depression is that there are times when I really don't want to Do Anything, so the bedroom got rather bad with clutter and mess. I've been cleaning it up by degrees, and got a lot of work done yesterday. The floor in front of our bed is visible again! and one can get to the side door now!
The Queen Mother and I moved into our current home just before New Year's, 2000. We went from a decent sized, 3 bedroom 2 bath home into a 2 bedroom, 2 bath condo just under 1000 square feet. We did a lot of downsizing then, and still left a lot behind. As time as gone on, more of the upkeep has shifted to my shoulders - and then our shoulders, when Himself joined us in the condo in 2013. Between his cancer adventure, Queen Mother's diminishing capacities, and my depression...well, things got chaotic. It didn't get Hoarder-level bad (though Queen Mother might disagree with that), but we are definitely planning to get some help with keeping up the condo once our financial situation improves. In the meantime, when the prospect of decluttering and reorganizing stuff doesn't seem too overwhelming - and sometimes it does, as I wonder if I'm ever going to get back on top of things when I'm in Stinking Thinking mode - I manage to carve out pockets of Order in the Chaos, one part of one room at a time.
I'm not alone in this.
At the start of the year, the Queen Mother had two brothers. The younger of the two brothers passed away last Sunday, on September 30th. (If you follow along on Facebook, you'll know this.) We went to visit my aunt/his widow today...and she has a monumental task in front of her. Their house was a bit larger than our original one, and they had three kids they raised and watched fly out of the nest. Decades of memories and items are still present there, and she needs to downsize radically in order to move into an Independent Living facility. Her room is slightly more than half the size of the condo we live in! We managed to take home a few things today, and we've called dibs on a few things we need to figure out how to transport home. She's a bit overwhelmed and slightly panicked at the enormity of the task, but she seems to be keeping her composure quite well. We've offered to help schlep stuff as needed.
As I type these words onto the screen, the sense of I'm Not Alone In This arises in my mind, and I can breathe just a little easier. If my aunt can summon up the gumption to whittle a lifetime down to Essentials, perhaps I can be inspired to sort through the things that have informed my life up to this point and get a little sleeker, and clutter-free. Wish me luck.
Oh, Victoria, I wish you well on your decluttering efforts.
ReplyDeleteAfter dealing with all of my mother's things almost 2 decades ago, I was determined when we downsized to the mountains several years ago, to shed as much as possible.
I took two decluttering classes with the local OLLI center. That helped.
Did I use it? Did I love it? Did it have meaning? Yikes, easier said than done. I shed so many tears getting rid of things that I didn't even realize that I had.
But the lightness of shedding -- it was a good thing, and I'm thinking now about doing another round.
Sending all good wishes.
Victoria, I am growing weary tonight so don't have many words left but I want you to remember your own words honey. You are not alone, WE are not alone. Many's the day just knowing that is what gets me through. We are doing this in community. Let's remember that.
ReplyDeleteSending you so much love and a big warm hug...
Maitri
Victoria, I applaud you for doing something that is so hard for me. I have such sentimental attachments to things that it makes it tough to discard. I always look at those pristine homes in contemporary furnishing magazines and 'wish' that could be my space. You have been through a lot, and still have challenges ahead. Just keep the balance and apply extreme self care along the way.
ReplyDeleteI know it is very difficult decluttering. When my mother passed three years ago it was my job to go through everything in the house. She had given me strict orders as to who got what for many things. My older brother wanted everything carted off to a junk dealer. I worked hard and fast to complete her wishes. I would have done things differently had I had more time, but you know what I did the best I could. Remember you can only do the best you can and no-one should expect anything more. You get to decide what that is. Take care of yourself and don't let the shoula coulda woulda take over.
ReplyDelete