Day 65: on being at my wits' end

Today I thought was going to receive an infusion of hope, but I wound up getting punched in the Shadow gut. I came hope from a formerly safe space feeling like a leper. All of my Stinking Thinking was turned up full blast. I was bawling for a couple of hours. I'm better now, but still emotionally very sore.

I took down the GoFundMe and deleted all mention of it off of my Facebook. I feel like those who could pitch in with support already have, and to keep it up was simply exacerbating the shame I've been feeling.

Honestly, I don't know where to go from here, except possibly into bankruptcy, and if that happens, I'm pretty sure we can kiss any and all money coming our way goodbye. At the rate things ar going in DC, though, we could conceivably be in and out of bankruptcy before Himself's attorneys get anything from the VA. Go figure.

I'm beyond tired this evening, hoping a good night's sleep can provide some answers. Yes, tomorrow is a new day, but a new day of what? The same old (ahem) stuff?

I have no answers or witty ending comments this evening. Peace Out, peeps.