Day 109: on coming out from under

The Heavies from yesterday followed me into today. :p

Basically, I'm waiting on a direct deposit from the State to replenish my account so I can take care of the essentials (like grocery shopping), as well as to get the Queen Mother signed up with her supplemental insurance. I was advised she would need to rejoin AARP in order to take advantage of the insurance. The fee to rejoin is not horrid, but as I currently have less than a dollar in the bank, it's Not Doable at the moment. Add to that the fact the Queen Mother's Medi-Cal hearing is this Thursday, and I'm more than a little antsy about that money coming in, hopefully sooner rather than later! Fortunately, Himself found a small check that he was able to deposit today, so we were able to nip to Trader Joe's and grab a few essentials.

Yesterday and part of today, I felt like I was back in the 2018 dumpster fire again: money all around me, but swirling just out of reach, and no knowing exactly when I would be getting any of it. I think I'm making progress in moving forward in my life and replenishing my well, but when something like this happens, I see how little progress I've made after all, and I find myself stuck like the turtle on my back, limbs flailing as I try to find purchase on something, anything, to grab onto and right myself. 

Today, though, I did find purchase, and righted myself. I took a nap during the day and woke up to get the Queen Mother's dinner ready. Usually I try to keep going, and wind up crashing, totally mentally and emotionally spent, in the evening, after dinner; of course, this doesn't help my trying to get a good night's sleep one bit. With the daytime nap, though, I felt as though I finally had a chance to unclench, and take full breaths again. 

Now I am listening to some "meditative" music on Pandora, something I am beginning to practice consistently this year: from roughly 6:30 to 7:30 in the evening, I'm in my room, listening to my calm music instead of the news, which the Queen Mother chooses instead. I call it my Sanity Hour. ;)

I'm going to tidy up a bit when I'm done here, check on the Queen Mother, then settle back in and color some more of my latest mandala. Tomorrow is indeed another day, and hopefully, one with money!