Day 42: on breaking the circuit

Somewhere between coming home from a quick grocery run and accompanying Himself down to the VA for his latest Physical Therapy appointment, the circuit of Depression was broken, and I began to feel better. The explanation I could provide is a bit long and rather esoteric, so I will save it for those who are most interested. Suffice to say that there was enough of a Cosmic Shift that allowed me to breathe deeply again, and that lifted a heavy weight off of my shoulders. :)

One thing I realized/remembered with all of this: I don't handle Ambiguity very well. I like to know What is going to happen, When and Where it shall happen, and if applicable, How it's going to happen. I don't like vague "someday" answers, especially when I have a need for promises to be fulfilled Sooner rather than Later. Combine Ambiguity with some of the stress I have been feeling recently, and I am one very unhappy camper.

For the record, Himself isn't a big fan of Ambiguity either. He did his best to comfort me at the start of the week; now the pendulum swings in my direction, and I have been comforting him. Even if we can't see all of the details at this moment, we reassure each other - we'll get through this rough patch too.

I am grateful that this round of Depression has dissolved; I would be naive to believe it will never return. It always does, but perhaps next time, I will be a bit better prepared to handle it and work my way through it. Perhaps. Another thing I have noticed: Depression has been really good at wiping my memory clean of tools and techniques to combat it, leading me to forget everything Spiritual and Positive until my mind can successfully reboot itself. Though I've been able to reboot more quickly now than I could even a year ago,  I still find myself having to Ride Out the Storm once Depression anchors in.

Now tha I am clear of this latest episode, I can return to Practicing Good Form, as my karate teacher used to say, and return to being Productive. There are tasks yet ahead that need my attention, and puzzles to solve...