Day 278: on powering through

I took a deep dive in the Morning Pages today. Most of the time I can only manage one page, though when I have more time in the morning, I can often whip out two. Now and again, I manage to do the three pages that are recommended. Today was a three-page day; I was about to wind down, but a bit of Frustration needed a platform to be witnessed, so I let my pen continue to flow across the paper until it was done. 

The gist of the Frustration: my biggest drain in Caregiving is not Physical; it's Mental. It's having to remember to be patient when I'm trying to say something to the Queen Mother for the fifth time before she can understand me. It's having to remind Himself of things he needs to do, because the Traumatic Brain Injury has ruined his (short-term) memory. It's having to keep track of what appointment is coming up next, and what tasks need to be handled next - which is why I'm a list making fiend. Sometimes I feel like I need a (virtual) secretary to help keep track of everything!

Be it venting in the Morning Pages, or be it having two days in a row of significant errand-running, I felt Depression on the other side of the mental door, wanting to persuade me how it would be So Much Better to Stay Home and Let Go of All the Responsibility. I got in touch with the Anger that was wanting to turn inward and let it out in my workout today. Once again, I crushed it on the various machines, burning the calories and breaking a decent sweat. Today I got my Hardcore Sparkle on. ;)

Once again, we got a bit of a late start out the door, so once again, we were rather late getting back to the house. The Queen Mother grumbled a little bit, but not too much. After dinner I finally relented and had a bit of a nap, then colored in my mandala book when I woke back up, finishing up one mandala (which I posted in my Messenger Stories) and worked some more on another one. I've drifted away from the coloring, and I want to get back into it on a more regular basis.

Tomorrow there are no appointments, so it feels like a good time to tie off some loose ends of a domestic nature, and perhaps finally get around to returning those phone calls I received late last week! At least I won't have to jump out of bed in the morning...