Day 125: on the clouds returning

I'm not sure what set me off - if it was my "inability" to get going quick enough, or the Queen Mother's desire to postpone the trip to the Social Security office until tomorrow, or the fact that I finally got the proper paperwork filled out to request mom's medical records today, and sent it all off today, or the idea that I wouldn't find what I was looking for in these records, or a combination of all of these - whatever it was, I became overwhelmed by the idea of jumping through this set of hoops, and I wound up having a panic attack over it all.

*Le Sigh*

Then there was the need to get money out of my account at the credit union, and the fact that there won't be enough money to cover one of my bills (so I will have to see if I can negotiate something), and the realization that I will need to play "musical bills" for a month or two, in that These Bills get paid this month, and Those Bills will be paid next month, and I have no idea about when I'm going to get to the ones sulking in the corner...

Again, *Le Sigh*

Yet we have an update: all indications are pointing to Late March/Early April for news as to what ALL the decisions for Himself's outstanding cases will be, if not actual payment at that point. Making it to that point, by hook or by crook - aye, there's the rub! Then there is also the question, what happens if this latest "due date" gets delayed Yet Again? Can I stand yet more disappointment? I'm beyond ready for this uncertainty to be over and done with. Period.

At least I made it to my Caregiver Support Group tonight. I was able to vent, I will be receiving information about getting a definitve diagnosis for the Queen Mother next meeting, and I was assured that things could be Far Worse than they are now. Praying for some of my affected siblings tonight!

So tomorrow I try again to get all the balls rolling in the same direction. Once more unto the breach, as the Bard said.

And Once More, *Le Sigh* :p